have you ever sh!t your pants?

[Motocrossx23]

Lmao Jay, I was hoping for a fresh prince ending as well actually, was said friend on here as well? Lol

[walter]

You’re trying too hard.

[TradersBASE]

@Just Karter

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/archive/index.php/t-112981051.html

twin brother?

Those guys are nuts on BB.com
So many shart and shit threads. I go there when I’m having a bad day and need a good LOL.

@JustinH

we had this senile old lady at my work shit her pants in her cube, then she ran to the bathroom, then she ran back in the room to tell our boss that she shit her pants and had to leave. Then she signed out on the timesheet, and got shit on the clipboard.

The boss just looked at her, and asked her why she didn’t just call from a phone.

The office stinked of shit so the cleaners had to come in and dump that baking soda shit on the rug.

OMG. How could you come back to work after announcing you shit yourself?

To the OP…LMAO. Thanks for getting my day off to a LOL’ing start!

[boxxa]

Anyone who has run out of gas in their car has probably shit their pants.

[newman]

This video is so fucking funny:

“The most perfect, double tapered shit I’ve ever had in my entire life”

“I had a great meal, a great fucking meal”

[layzie]

double tapered…DOUBLE TAPERED …double tapered

[Clean_Baldy]

Where’s the part of the story where you came out of the bathroom to get to your car?

And what about the car? Are you saying that it came out of this clean?

[AFhockey31]

I didnt do it personally but I was pulling Security Forces auggie duty, and my partner kept farting, and stunk up the entire guard shack… Kept cracking on me cause I had to be stuck smelling it

Well he let one go a lil too far and sharded out in his pants, which was outstanding… served him right… So he leaves to go home and change out his drawers, leaving me there by myself during the drunk hour(1-2 am when people come home from the bars) and he ended up shitting himself full force in his own car…

One of the most satisfying phone calls I ever got.

[glitch]

@BREETIME"

im not talking about sharting or finding a little steak nugget in your draws but a full on 2-taper with frosting consistancy, shit.

had some food at the wellington pub (sp)

i sit down and order a cheese burger wich i was sharing with my friend and 10 hot wings wich would also be shared.
already knowing this is a bad mix from future experiences i decided to go along with it anyway.
food was great! good price too.
as we walk to the car i enjoy a smoke (wich doesnt help this situation)
as soon as i hit the thruway i get the gurgles.
no big deal i say to myself ill just give birth when i get home…

now i live in west seneca wich is about 20-30 mins depending on conditions to get home.

so the whole way i got one thing on my mind, getting home.
as i reach the 400, im on the final stretch, and this is when you say in your head
“almost home.just alittle longer.2 more minutes”
so like usual, being so close i really gotta shit now.
i was dizzy from holding my balloon knot so tight.
BAM! i see union road exit “o thank god!”
big problem tho…even tho i live about 1 minute from the exit i CANNOT wait any longer.
“pull into tim hortons!!!”

the minute i make it to the front door, wich is opened for me by a previous costumer my sphincter decideds its had enough.
straight chocolate milk shake starts escaping.
i cant do anything except continue to the mens room and keep the firm grip on my pants to hopefully slow down the eruption.

as i open the stall door i drop trou.
the swift 180 i pull to position for the toliet seat did nothing but further coat the wall, handicap wall bar and top section of the toilet in the sloppiest, most disgusting 40 year old alchohilic mans shit youve ever seen.

i dont think watching my first born child could make me as happy as to be sitting on a shit covered toilet at this point.

ok im done shitting.
time to take a look at the damage.

• the wall looks like a jugular pumping hot creamy fudge was severed in close proximity
  -im sitting on an already slippery toilet seat wich is now covered in brown mashed potatoes and gravy
  -my pants, wich were nice clean $90 jeans that someone took the time to design and manufacture, and tryed so hard to be sold to me by the sweet young girl at buckle are now covered in hot chocolate lava squeezed hot from my tired and sweaty asshole.

so i remove my pants.
hung them up on coat hook.
spent 20 mins wiping what i could off.
removed boxers (wich were thrown in garbage, could not be saved)
wiped my ass/legs 47 times.

and made my 12 second journey home where i took a 3 hour post rape like shower.

and this is the first time ive ever shit my pants.

That was you??!!

[turbociv]

lol its because you went to the wrong pub jay. Next time keep it in depew.:lol:

[dawn]

I seriously just had this convo with this girl I work with and this dude I sell cigs to. I have never shit my pants, but dude had some hilarious fucking stories.

[glitch]

@dawn

I seriously just had this convo with this girl I work with and this dude I sell cigs to. I have never shit my pants, but dude had some hilarious fucking stories.

Girls talk about shitting their pants? :naab:

[ultradriver10000]

One time I was at a house party with a bunch of friends which didn’t want to leave when I wanted to. I had to poop bad, but they didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to poop in that shit hole. I ended up taking the TP and went outside and started walking towards a Timmy Hoes. I usually can hold myself very well, but in this case I couldn’t make it. I dropped trow, and shit in a parking lot. I guess I didn’t really shit myself, but I did shit all over a public parking lot. Then I cleaned up, went home and showered because I felt dirty. Even though I was 100% clean.

Closest I’ve ever came to pooping myself.

[BREETIME]

@glitch

That was you??!!

if it was a shit covered timmys bathroom on union road than yes

[JEG]

omg I really wish I didnt have bronchitis right now. I’m laughing my ass off reading this and it feels like im caughing up firey acid. but fuckin a that is one amazing story. Bravo sir, bravo.

[Motocrossx23]

Reminds me of Tucker Max lol

[newman]

Jay you should do a video retelling of this story.

[NeOn9787]

a couple close calls for me, but i seem to hold it well

[JMEZZI]

Must have been a shameful 1 minute walk from timmys to your car.

[TradersBASE]

I cannot believe you didnt’ get a pic of the shit encrusted stall. That’d been the brown icing in the cake so to speak.