LOL i read the first part of your post and was like W T F didnt realize it was sarcastic 
to be honest, if you cant take a loan out, because the bank says no, then you probably are not in a situation to be having a loan right now, and thats real talk !
get some little credit cards, and a cell phone, wait till next summer to buy a good bike, this summer buy a bullshit bike for 1200 bucks, and if your not dead by next year take a loan out for a used bike… dont buy new IMO, but then again some people will tell u dont buy used… so whatever !