i actually lol'ed a few times...

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

repost??

yep

Regardless, I <3 your sig.

Gf?

thats boxy!:rofl:

So lost. Info?

LOL.
This one I hadn’t found before.
LOL @ her actually calling the store.

Original ad:
I have a 1998 nissan that rear ended someone last week. There is some minor damage that need fixed…but I cant afford to go to a body shop…anyone who is willing to help for less would be doing me a HUGE favor. thanks!
From Me to ***********@**********.org

Hey, how’s it going.

I’m a mechanic looking to do some work on the side, and I can probably help you out with your car. How bad is the damage to the car?

Mike

From Kristen ****** to Me:

Hi Mike. The damage isnt bad…my hood is bent and i think the headlight cracked…but I took it for an estimate and they told me i was looking at at least a couple thousand for repairs. im not sure if they are trying to rip me off so take a look if you want. sorry…this is the best picture i could get with my phone

thanks!

Attachment:

From Me to Kristen ******:

Ouch…that doesn’t look good, Kristen. From glancing at the picture, it is obvious you are going to need a new hood, fender, and headlight. It looks like your headlight is indeed cracked, and it looks like you probably severed the headlight fluid line as well. From the way the hood is bent, it looks like your transmission has been dislodged and will probably have to be replaced. Judging by the headlight damage, I may have to replace your headlight fluid pump as well, and I need to take out the motor to get to that. It is going to be a lot of work.

How much were you looking to spend to get this fixed?

From Kristen ****** to Me:

wow i didnt think it was that bad…do you think you can fix it? i cant afford to spend alot of money on this.

From Me to Kristen ******:

I can absolutely fix it. I can probably steal the parts you’ll need from a junkyard, but you will have to post my bail if I get caught again. Last time, bail was about $400 and I had to pay another $500 fine after court. As for the labor, it is going to cost you about $1500. Replacing the headlight fluid pump is very difficult, and will probably take a lot of time to do. So you are looking at anywhere from $1500 to $2400.

From Kristen ****** to Me:

ok thanks anyway. that is too much for me…ill just deal with it for now i guess

From Me to Kristen ******:

Kristen, I strongly advise you to get this fixed immediately. You will not pass inspection without a headlight fluid pump, and it is very dangerous to be driving without one. It is very likely that your car could catch fire and explode while you are driving.

Look, I understand you are on a budget and I’d be willing to knock a couple hundred bucks off of the cost of labor if I can have your car’s CD player. You won’t get a better deal anywhere else.

From Kristen ****** to Me:

what?! the other guy didnt say anything like that. im going to get a few more opinions first, ill let you know. thanks

From Me to Kristen ******:

Don’t take too long - your car is in immediate danger.

From Kristen ****** to Me:

I just called the auto center and they said there is no such thing as a headlight fluid pump…or headlight fluid…they were laughing…what is your problem douche bag?

From Me to Kristen ******:

Whoever you talked to there obviously has no idea what they are talking about. Look, you can see it in the picture, you are clearly leaking headlight fluid. I pointed it out in the attachment, it is what the red arrow is pointing to. You can see it leaking from the headlight.

Attachment:

From Kristen ****** to Me:

Ok ass hole…thanks for wasting my time

From Me to Kristen ******:

Sorry for trying to save your life. You’ll be sorry when that fluid ignites and makes your transmission explode while you are driving.

Oooohshit, go on the site, it’s like the 3rd one down and view it.
gotta see the pictures!

Wow nvm, quick google search and instantly turned off, what an annoying girl.

um ya ok umm ya ok ok ya um yaaa um um ummm umm ok

PURE GOLD.

Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Hello,

I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I’m in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.

I’m charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don’t have kids size 6 cleats, but you don’t really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.

Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Well I’m definitely interested in kicking your fucking ass. One question, asshole: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Please, you aren’t kicking anyone’s ass. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.

To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn’t right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don’t think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.

So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

You’re goddamn right I am. It’s just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I’ll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that’ll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer’s head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.

Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I’ll sell you some football equipment for your son. I’d hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger? Go fuck yourself.

She’s fuckin hot though. Suffocate her with a dick

She’s damn gorgeous, truth.

is she fat?

“I DONT WANT YOUR USELESS SHIT GUY”