My dad and my little brother were playing this frisby game while camping once. The little one throws it to my dad while he’s standing there in catch ready position, and takes it in the fore head.
When I was little I was roasting marshmellows and set it on fire. I tried to put it out by shaking the stick and the marshmellow, still on fire, hit my older brother in the eye.
if you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
You can’t please everyone, and last night, all those people were at my show…
you know, it’s funny; when you compare a banana to a traffic light.
with a traffic light, green means go and yellow means wait.
with a banana, green means wait and yellow means go.
with a traffic light, red means stop;
and with a banana, red means
where the Fuck did you get that banana
I saw Monster Magnet last night. The singer yelled out to the crowd, “How many people feel like human beings? Alright, how many people feel like ANIMALS!” And everybody cheered after the animals part, but I cheered after the human beings part, because I did not know that there was a second part to the question.
A man walks into a doctor’s office with a squid on his head. The squid says “Hey doc, get this guy off my ass.”
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says to the horse “Why the long face?”
Take my wife: Please!
a guy walked into this thread and called it gay
that guy was me, read above, then look to the left
2 cannibals are eating a clown, one cannibal says to the other cannibal, “this taste funny to you??”
:picard: :lol:
If Helen Keller had ESP, would you say she had a fourth sense?
fish butholes …water tight or not :gotme:
What do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk 
What is brown and sticky?
a stick 
Ellen Degeneres died today. She was found face down in Ricky Lake
NICE.
“Did you hear about the blind carpenter?”
“He picked up his hammer and saw”
what did the one melon say to the other melon when asked to marry him?
im sorry…but we cant-elope
