A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident. Both cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow, just look at our cars! They are destroyed. Fortunately, we aren’t hurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God! "
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle… My car is completely ruined but this bottle of wine didn’t break. It’s a sign that God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man agreed, opened the bottle and drank half, and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asked, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replied, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police”
The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring those dogs in here”
The women plead and plead and the bartender agrees under one condition. He has to take the dogs out back, and on that basis alone, guess the womens’ occupations.
The bartender takes the first dog out back and comes back in in 10 minutes. He says “you’re a doctor.” The woman is amazed but the bartender says, " I gave your dog ten bones and he made a skeleton. You’re easy to figure out"
Ten minutes later he returns again. He says to the second woman, “you’re an architect.” The woman asks “how the hell did you know that?” But the bartender says “easy. I just gave your dog 10 bones and he made a building”
The bartender takes the third dog out back and the women think they’ve stumped him. He’s been out there for 45 minutes. Finally, after a long wait, he comes back in and says “you’re a waitress. now take your dogs and leave.” The third woman says “fine, but first tell us how you knew i was a waitress.” The bartender said, “easy. I gave your dog 10 bones, and he crushed them up, snorted them, fucked the other two dogs, and asked to go home early.”
I agree. I’m a KM. 90% of waitresses are those girls that were popular in HS but you knew that if they didn’t get through Beattie tech for cosmetology they’d be working for tips (or to support their coke habit) the rest of their lives.
Of course, the other 10% are high quality…but such is life.
j/k