Old Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Old Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Old Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Old Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Old Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Old woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Old Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes. Would you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Old Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Old Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
haha