I had ribs for lunch. That’s why I’m doing this.
It is 10am
I fucking knew exactly what this post was going to say…I said it to myself the second I saw it
A+ would read again
A La Jolla man clings to life after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs, in an abandoned pool.
The human torch was denied a bank loan.
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen.
Cannonball!
The arsonist had oddly shaped feet.
Lanolin? La-lanolin? Like sheeps wool?
What’s that? Well if you were a man I’d punch you. Punch you right in the mouth. That’s bush. Bush league. DO YOU HEAR ME? AUDREY! LOOK AT ME!
Sorry, we’re goin’… We’re Going streaking up through the quad and into the gymnasium! Come on everybody, come on! Snoop, Snoop-a-loop! No, it’s cool, it’s cool, I’m cool. Bring… Bring your green hat. Let’s go, come on everybody we’re goin’."
I love scotch. Scotchy scotchy scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly. mmmmMMmmmMMMmmm
Great story. Compelling, and rich.
Look at that. That squirrel is water skiing!
Baxter you know I don’t speak spanish.
I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.
Milk was a bad choice.
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.
Scholars maintain the translation was lost years ago.
What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate a whole…wheel of cheese? I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.
Whatdya say we get ur pj’s on and hit the hay?