I dont usually post boring kills but this one amused me
I was coming home from the hospital visiting my dad and had to run into Wegmans and buy some grocerys
So as I am pulling out this middle aged dude in a silver drop top (top was up) Miata with a Maryland temp tag cuts me off and rips up to the signal light at the exit of the plaza, so he makes a right and is driving like hes John Force, chirping the tires on every power shift
So he gets stuck at the next signal light and I pull up next to him and figure I will stick my foot in the go pedal when the light changes, I am in the left lane and hes in the right lane
Looking over at the dude he looks like a poofter, probably going through a divorce and picked up the Miata as a mid life crisis car, the dude just smacks of gayness and arrogance
I drew my own conclusion as to why his presumed marriage had ended :gay:
So anyways hes throwing revs and as the light changes he dumps the clutch, he has traffic up ahead and is trying like hell to get in front of me to cut me off, I stayed about 2 cars in front of him up to 60ish and he was forced to drop behind me, we are in decently heavy traffic and he is riding my ass moving from side to side looking for a way around me
I dont know why he was in such a fucking hurry, by the clothes he was wearing he looked like he was coming back from the gym, so again side tangent and some ad libbing, he probably got all horned up looking at the young dudes in the shower and was going home to get on youtube and look up the sham-wow commercial to beat his meat and to post a missed m 4 m connection on craigslist, something to the effect of “I saw you today, I know your married evidenced by your ring and happily at that, evidenced by the fact your wife and young children picked you up and you greeted them with hugs but, if by any chance you want me to go sex nuts and retard strong and jam your dick in my mouth next time we’re in the shower together give me a signal by blinking” But first he had to stop at Wegmans to buy an ice cold Snapple
Thus I digress
so anyways this dude is tailing me hard so the right lane opens up and I drop to the right while hes stuck in traffic, all of a sudden I see him blasting up the left lane about 90 and he has traffic ahead so he is trying to shoot the gap and cut me off
So again I punch it and he didnt make it, he stayed in the throttle until the last second and had to pound his brakes so hard he left rubber, he almost rear ended a pickup in front of him doing about 90
The Hamburg cops (3 cars worth) just happened to be standing in someones front yard right by us and they took a long hard look at this douche
So we pull up to the 7 corners and he gets into the left turning lane (I am going straight) and never even looks, then he looks over his shoulder and mouths this diatribe of profanity like I have never seen, shame his windows were up
The dude looked SO pissed and disappointed, I have never laughed so hard
correction me and my two passangers never laughed so hard, in my stock Buick Roadmaster with a trunk full of groceries
Cliffs-
cocky midlife crisis guy in his newly purchased Miata tries to drive like Johnny Tran, loses to 4500# old man car with 3 people in it