We’re not retarded. Both of us have removed axle nuts before. I can have the uprights off my accord in under half an hour.
These things are just stupidly torqued on 32mm nuts.
Even tried the trick of “set impact to tighten, bump them a few times, set back to loosen and blast away” to try to break them free. 220lbs bouncing on a 4 foot breaker bar did nothing.