While my initial inclination was to vow my full support to this campaign, I have my trepidations. How; I ask you, can I proclaim my allegiance to a Pittspeeder with nothing more than a V6, 4 door, FWD family sedan? Despite being my former lover with whom I share many fond memories, I fear I must refuse my support of the Darkstar Initiative.
Mike, I say if you want this prestigious board’s support you must now earn it. It is time to do some sole searching, and do not return to us until you have procured a vessel capable of true automotive dominance. Be it boost and RPM that provides you with your fix via 4G63, SR20DET or the like. Or perhaps you’ll allow your inner redneck the freedom it’s longed for since you first experienced torque in a certain mullet machine with CA plates. With your business success I think a machine capable of true penis compensation may be in order: Corvette. Or maybe, just maybe you should return to your roots. Perhaps a H on your hood will sooth your soul. Whatever the proper machine may be, the time is now.
Again Mike, if you want my support you must first earn my respect. I urge the other Members of Pittspeed to follow me in boycotting this campaign until such time as Darkstar has a respectable machine.
Thank you,
TJ