get the fuck off your damn speaker phone… ur not that important. I fucken hate middle management power trip fuck faces. Wanna be lumberger motherfucker. FUCK.
Bob, could you get me those TPS resports asap. And I am gonna need you to come in this weekend.
I hate when people here use their speaker phones too.
While we’re on the subject…
- Asshole #1 and #2, turn down the cell phone ringer volume.
- Asshole #2, there is no audition for the position of Drummer on the Penn State drum line today, so stop tapping that fuckin’ pen/keyboard/desk.
- Asshole #1 and #2, personal phone conversations can take place in a fucking conference room.
I’d like to smash that Asshole #2’s head with a mallet if you couldn’t tell.
(I feel better for some reason now…)
we got a fat toad in our office that loves to bitch all day, talk about her disgusting medical problems, discuss her gambling and give the whole office the run down on the show 24…all in a smokers voice.
we also have an office crier, a compulsive appologizer/thanker, a mark madden cock sucker, a milton, and then me.
You need to make a TV show of this so all office workers can relate.
Oh wait. It’s a cartoon and it’s called “Dilbert”…
I am one of 2 males in an office of 40+ females, and woman are friggin crazy. We used to have the same amount of men and woman in our office, but they seem to have weeded most of us out and replaced us with female workers. I have to hear about female crap all day long. I have a bi-Polar depressed chick that sits in front of me. I have a bitchy chick that sits next to me. we have 6 fat troll lookin woman, who plan food days every other week so they can have an excuse to eat all damn day. They are all in theor own cliques. You have the dike-looking chicks that hang together, then you have the client relations chicks who act like they are valley girls and talk about shopping non-stop, and then there is the crazy women, eachwith their own mental depression problem, who cry as soon as someone says anything to them. My boss thinks she is hot shit, but looks kinda like a dude. All management is female except the owner of the company.
oh…and there is NO benefit to me working in this office full of women, because even though several of them are hot, my fiance works here as well, so I have to behave myself all day.
All of the sudden I don’t feel so bad because of your story, Ryan.
besides my boss being a dick. he loudly uses f-bombs all day and then expects everyone to be professional. eat a dick asshole
another work pet peave i have is, the exit interview… what the fuck is the point? i’m leaving most likely cause i hate all of you or you don’t pay me enough fuckin money.
i love when the office is dead silent. its so nice. but no… my desk is next to the fucking printer and the door so i gotta get up to answer it because of fucking people’s ID’s don’t allow them in. my office is basically a sausagefest… the two females we do have. one is a freakin beast with a neck beard and the other was Ms Bedford county sheep shearing queen (no joke). the freakin third floor gets all the hot interns with tight fuck me pants!
I can’t wait for the day I am wealthy enough to retire and say “Go F*ck yourself” as I walk out the door at my last job…
I’ll then proceed to track down and call everyone that ever disturbed or intentionally fucked with me during work (if they’re still alive), then one by one remind them
“Remember the time we worked together? It was great wasn’t it?”
…then at the end of the phone call say “you were an asshole and I retired early, go f*ck yourself because you <insert annoying activity here> all day long you and were an inconsiderate PRICK”.
Then hang up loudly from the pay phone and place the next call.
i’m so glad we have the noisiest printer/copier known to man and some fuck face from customer service decided to do mass copying at it… AND i have no one but two Louisville sluggers under my desk!!!
Get medieval on that copier like Michael Bolton in Office Space?
thats what i had in mind
just figured out what my boss’s speaker phone convo all day was about… he was arguring with his personal health care provider… Just like the cheap ass *** bastard he is. i hope he’s gettin ass raped
Boss/Owner - pay me the expense checks you owe me for the last 5 weeks, not to mention the 1500 in commission you have yet to pay me Asshole. At this point I am looking at other options.
This coming from the kid whop alwasy says he loves his job n it is better than anybody elses :kekegay:
thank god im my own boss
I think every office has the people that can be labeled. I wonder what people say I am on whatever message board they’re on!
fuck your boss and FUCK this kid printing out 800 pages of fucking text during a god damn test. (sitting next to printer)
I don’t know, the daughter of one of the people that works here, just started working here. She’s quite the cutie at 21. Did I mention all the hot, skinny asian chicks? Yeah, it’s not bad…:idb: