Car getting covered in oily/greasy substance

It looks brown/black. Doesn’t have a distinct smell. I know it’s not coolant.

I do have a catch can to get rid of my PCV but it is a closed system. No vent to atmosphere anything on this car.

Water does bead up on it. How quickly do you think brake fluid would eat through the paint?

Whoops…of course…2007 VW GTI.

Evenly coating the car from the base of the windshield back. It’s not really getting on the doors, but it is getting on the door windows.