Cooking Crew

I used to do some cooking (not much) and then when we got our current apt. it has an electric stove which I cannot stand and my amount of cooking dropped. Now that we will hopefully be in our new house shortly and it has a propane stove, I really want to get back into cooking.

So this thread is dedicated to shift members putting up their favorite “recipes” for other Shift cooks to learn from (mainly myself). Now I will eat just about everything, but my wife is very picky and will not eat any veggies except for green beans. So anyone with some non-veggy recipes are encouraged to post up as well.

Hopefully this will take off with some good recipes.

Ready… GO!

Penis Stew
1 pound of penis, ram’s or bull’s
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis.  	Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough  	water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.

um… what about pussy pot pie steve? can u make that?

I usually eat it raw.

The baconator, make it, then piihb!!

i got a cockmeat smamich for ya , ya want that recipe?

The Double Kill

Ingredients:
2 Double Cheeseburgers
9 Slices of Bacon
4 Chicken Breasts, Fried
Onion Rings
1 Box Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
1 Bag Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Ketchup

Cook everything
Stack ingredients… use chicken breasts as buns.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yNMIPbHcVKU/TNqqcxM_mSI/AAAAAAAAF7M/t1uj3QtCTpc/s1600/double%2Bkill%2Bepic%2Bmeal.jpg

hold the bread please

hot damn , just had a heart attack looking at that thing

how do you even eat it, ha

Intoxicated Chicken

1 2.5-3 pound chicken cut up, or 4 chicken breasts
salt and pepper
2 T. butter
2 T. vegetable oil
1/2 cup whiskey (jack daniels)
6 shallots, chopped
1/4 t. thyme
1/4 cup minced parsley
1/4 cup water
1 cup heavy cream

Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, heat the butter and oil, brown the chicken pieces on both sides. Add the whisky and CAREFULLY ignite, shaking the skillet until the flames go out. Add the shallots and cook for 1 minute. Add the thyme, parsley and water; cover skillet and cook over low heat, turning occasionally, 25-35 minutes. Transfer chicken to warm platter and cover with foil. Add the cream to skillet and simmer, stirring until the sauce thickens. Serve sauce over chicken. Suggest serving with rice.

BONELESS BREAST OF CHICKEN SALTIMBOCCA

Read more about it at www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1639,144180-228202,00.html
Content Copyright © 2011 Cooks.com - All rights reserved.

6 boneless, skinned chicken breasts, cut in half
1/3 c. plus 1 tbsp. flour
1/3 c. clarified butter
12 thin slices prosciutto ham
6 (1 oz.) slices Monterey Jack cheese, cut in half
1/4 c. chopped shallots
3 lg. cloves garlic, minced
3 c. mushrooms, sliced
1/2 c. dry white wine
1 tsp. each fresh thyme and oregano
1/2 c. each dry sherry and cream

Dip chicken in flour, brown in butter. Arrange in buttered baking dish. Top each with 1 slice ham and 1/2 slice cheese. Cook shallots and garlic until soft, add mushrooms, wine broth and herbs. Bring to boil and cook 10 minutes. Stir into hot mixture 1 tablespoon flour and small amount of sherry. Stir in remaining sherry and cream. Season with salt and pepper. Pour sauce over chicken. Bake in 375 degree oven for 20 minutes. Serves 6.

Seared tuna with sesame seeds

Ingredients

* 1/4 cup soy sauce
* 1 tablespoon mirin (Japanese sweet wine)
* 1 tablespoon honey
* 2 tablespoons sesame oil
* 1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
* 4 (6 ounce) tuna steaks
* 1/2 cup sesame seeds
* wasabi paste
* 1 tablespoon olive oil

Directions

  1. In a small bowl, stir together the soy sauce, mirin, honey and sesame oil. Divide into two equal parts. Stir the rice vinegar into one part and set aside as a dipping sauce.
  2. Spread the sesame seeds out on a plate. Coat the tuna steaks with the remaining soy sauce mixture, then press into the sesame seeds to coat.
  3. Heat olive oil in a cast iron skillet over high heat until very hot. Place steaks in the pan, and sear for about 30 seconds on each side. Serve with the dipping sauce and wasabi paste.

Dungeness Crab Bisque

Ingredients

* 4 4 4Dungeness crabs
* 3 3 3tablespoons TABLESPOON_USVolumeextra-virgin olive oil
* 1 1 1carrot, chopped
* 2 2 2stalks celery, chopped
* 3 3 3tomatoes, chopped
* 5 5 5cloves garlic, chopped
* 5 5 5shallots, chopped
* 3 3 3sprigs fresh tarragon leaves, chopped
* 3 3 3tablespoons TABLESPOON_USVolumeCognac
* 3 3 3cups CUP_USVolumedry white wine
* 2 2 2tablespoons TABLESPOON_USVolumetomato paste
* 10 10 10cups CUP_USVolumefish stock or water
* Salt
* Freshly ground black pepper
* Cayenne pepper
* Pinch dried thyme
* 1 1 1bay leaf
* 2 2 2cups CUP_USVolumeheavy cream
* 1 1 1lemon, juiced
* 1 1 1tablespoon TABLESPOON_US Volumeminced chives or parsley leaves

* Method

Instructions

  1. Remove the claws from the crabs and, with a large, sharp knife or cleaver, carefully quarter the bodies. Heat a 6-quart stockpot over medium-high heat. Add the olive oil and sauté the crab pieces until they turn red or, if they were bought already cooked, for 3 to 4 minutes. Remove the crab pieces. Add the carrot, celery, tomatoes, garlic, shallots, and tarragon and continue to sauté for 10 minutes. Pour in the cognac and, with a long wooden match, ignite it. When the flames have subsided, pour in the white wine and stir and scrape with a wooden spoon to deglaze the pot. Add the tomato paste, crab pieces, and enough fish stock or water to cover. Season to taste with salt, pepper, a little cayenne, thyme, and bay leaf and boil gently for 15 minutes.

  2. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, boil the cream until it has reduced by half. Remove the crab bodies from the pot and set them aside. Add the reduced cream to the pot. In batches, puree the soup in a food processor. Strain the pureed soup through a fine-meshed strainer, return it to the pot, and keep warm.

  3. Remove the meat from the claws, cut it into bite-size pieces, and add to the soup. Season to taste with lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Serve in heated soup bowls and garnish with minced chives or parsley.

    Note: Serves 6 to 8