A guide to ethnic dating.
WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already
realized nothing
is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and
have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her
grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins,Aunts, Uncles,
Friends and entire arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.
FILLIPINO WOMEN
First date: She’s quiet and reserved, you think you’re dating a nun
Second date: She rips your clothes off and you are hospitolized for dehydration from a grueling 12 hr sex marathon
Third date: You come home to knives being thrown at your head from across the room as she discovered her own lipstick on your collar and thought it was someone else.
Fourth date: There is no Fourth date due to the restraining order and stitches.
Japanese women
First Date: She giggles and stares blankly at you the whole time
Second Date: She giggles and stares blankly at you the whole time
Third date: You drop her off at her house only to find her three roommates bound, gagged and shitting everywhere. You proceed to have sex that makes you feel dirty from that point forward.
Fourth Date: She giggles and stares blankly at you the whole time
SPANISH WOMEN
First Date: You laugh, have fun doing anything and everything. You end up having sex on a park bench.
Second Date: You have a deep meaningful date where you suddenly realize you’re in love with her and you’re certain she feels the same.
Third Date: You suprise her with flowers and the intent to profess your undying love only to discover her having sex on the same parkbench with your roommate who had no idea she knew you. You later find out from her you two were just “friends”
Fourth Date: Is actually a date between her and your father which you never find out about.
Asian women
1st Date - You plan on taking her out for dinner but she shows up with dinner already made.
2nd Date - You have wild sex, she moves in, your money is no longer yours but your place is always kept clean
3rd Date - Wild sex continues but then your meet her parents. The mom doesnt speak English and the father barely speaks any. They dont approve of you because youre white.
4th Date - There is no fourth date
I am NOT offended by chick bashing jokes! Cause most of them are true for “typical” women :bowrofl: Bash away!