Bought my wife a 2014 4runner and she loves the hell out of it. Thought she would hate it cause its soo much like a truck and not car like, but I was totally wrong.
We are in a similar situation. We have 3 kids, so 3rd row is pretty much mandatory. We bought a 2007 R320 CDI because on paper it made the most sense, driving about 35K miles a year we wanted the MPG. It has been great, it has been super reliable, great on fuel, and a tank in the snow. The seating area has ample room for 6 adults with room to spare (2 seats in each row, we went with 2nd row captain’s chairs), BUT if you have the 3rd row up there is NO room for anything significant in the luggage compartment. With a stroller in the back we can’t fit anything else, and even that is tightly wedged between the hatch and the 3rd row. We have to put groceries all over in the passenger area when we go shopping.
With all that in mind we are looking to sacrifice the fuel economy to get something bigger soon.
If you’re not towing van makes so much more sense, but I get not wanting to drive a van. If we weren’t hauling around a boat I know I’d work to convince the wife that she’d rather have a van than an SUV. As it sits right now we’ll probably be trading the CX9 on something with more towing capacity. If I get the boat I’m looking at I’m going need at least 4500lbs towing capacity. Leaning toward the Traverse/Acadia twins now.
I have a 2013 Durango R/T fully loaded. Absolutely love the truck. Ton of power, sounds great, looks great and has the captains chairs in the back which are both heated. I can’t say enough about how nice it rides. We bought it Certified used and got the liftetime extended Mopar warranty for cost through a guy on the internet which came out to about $2200. I don’t have to worry about it, everything is covered besides maintenance items until the repair costs more than the truck.