I saw that there are several threads for specific kinds of quotes so I thought we should have one that we can post any and all funny quotes. If there is a need for context please include it if it’s short.
A customer just walked in to our service department and asked…
“How do I turn on my automatic headlights?”
I had to run away because I was laughing so hard the service advisor starting cracking up.
wow you serious?
“So there i was, balls deep in this hooker…”
Heard while leaving the old Sphere years ago. I laughed so hard i peed a little.
i’m not even kidding, i laughed so fuckin hard i had tears coming down my face.
^^^LOL!! I’ve heard that before
ive had multiple people ask me how to turn on their cell phones, or claim they are broken when in reality they just had them powered off.
Phone convo:
“I can’t get my stove’s front door open?”
“Have you turned the handle?”
“OH! There we go. Thank you.”
Seriously.
oh brother people are dumb sometimes
enduser: “My mouse isn’t responding when I move it.”
me: “What does the screen look like?”
enduser: “It says ‘no signal’.”
me: “You have to turn the computer on for the mouse to work.”
“If horsepower were a woman I’d f*** her brains out” >The famous Schaef
“I’ve pressed every button on the thing and it still doesn’t work!”
:hang:
I’ve gotten that one from a few field techs. And my mother in law when she was trying to watch TV on my father in law’s new home theater setup.
my contribution
i don’t see the big deal… I guess it depends on the car though you can turn them off on most cars.
i’ll say it before someone else does… I FAIL.
i need to come out of my hole and find the rest of the internet
Lady #1: Yes, my sister did end up getting pregnant by the guy, but her fiancé doesn’t know yet. She doesn’t know what she is going to do.
Lady #2: What about having an abortion?
Lady #1: Oh, no, she’s Catholic!
HAHAHA I forgot about this website. Thanks.