Awww Come on wheres your sense of adventure LOL
BDR is right… you don’t want to awaken a sleeping monster. Slap it together and send her home.
Maybe tell her to go see Dave Basil on her way…
As far as the blowby puking from the air box - if she only lost 1qt from binghamton to here, she’ll be fine on the way back. 
UPDATE:
It lives. I spent over an hour getting the valve cover cleaned up. I did not touch the valve springs as per all the suggestions that trying to clean that up would probably result in engine destruction. One and a half rolls of paper towels and a can each of degreaser and brake cleaner went into cleaning the cover alone. Blasted the two built in PCV valves out with degreaser, let them soak, then the high pressure stream from the hose, then finished up with the brake cleaner. I stopped when they finally stopped flowing crap. I put it all back together and gave the valve cover gasket 24 hours for the RTV I put on each side of the gasket time to dry. Finally I drained all the oil and dumped 2 quarts of some cheap oil I had kicking around the garage through to just flush out some of the old crap. Topped it off with some Castrol GTX and new STP oil/air filters. Only took about 10 minutes to fix that $18 heater part I broke. Probably the most love that poor jeep has seen in years.
Took it for a ride up Maple and Millersport and had zero oil on the air filter when I got back.
I bet I took at least a pound of sludge out of the valve cover.