I can’t complain since I chose my job, not forced upon me. But here is a lot of my standard rants at work
Me: How can I help you?
Customer: I need my WEP key.
Me: Ok just one moment.
… logged into router remotely, checked security, WEP not enabled.
Me: Sir why do you think you need this key?
Customer: Well I was told I need this sort of key thinger to get online.
Me: Have you tried opening Internet Explorer to get to your homepage?
Customer: OMG its working, you are a life saver!!!
or
Customer: 10 minutes of pissing and moaning about previous techs not fixing his issue, then saying its our network’s reason he can’t get online.
Me: Can you press the Internet on/off button on the modem sir?
Customer: 10 minutes more of pissing and moaning about how he never pressed that button that it magically came on and that he shouldn’t have to press it.