Late night snack Hijinks

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
1

So I was making a late-night snack involving sausage, bread, and various condiments. I spread ranch dressing on one piece of bread, no problems there nice and smooth. No spillage, good so I thought so I turned it over and accidentally spread mayo (Not real mayo, that shit sucks) on other side. Only until I finished spreading the gooey goodness had I realized the terrible truth.

Staring back at me I had a completely useless piece of bread that I could not pick up due to it being covered in non-healthy artery clogging hotness on both sides. What do I do!!?!!?!

I guess the manly thing would be to eat said piece of bread with nothing on it. After all there are starving kids in the world, and I need to make up for it by eating more. It’s my duty, no my right as an American to do so.

So I did, but then as an American I also need to sue the bread manufacturer for not including any way of warning myself not to do this. Perhaps later once I can find a good angle.

Cliffs: I’m too retarded to operate a piece of bread.

2

Cheese is the solution to 95% of the world’s problems.

Also acceptable, grill the mayo-nated side. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. It elevates normal sandwiches into awesomeness.

3

i would have thrown cheese on it, with another slice of bread, and then grilled it like grilled cheese.

4

bacon…

that is all

5

I would have brought 2 more slices of bread into the equation, and make a sammmich.

6

PBJMayoRanch sandwich. I’m not too sure on that one.

7

I didn’t vote.

I just wanted to let you know that your cliffs caused me to actually LOL.

8

how about adding some fluff

9

I ate it already had I not, then I would have failed in my duty as an American. It was quite messy. :frowning:

Jam by far had the manliest insight.

10

You need to lay off the yellow power pellets Fuzz…

11

I would have taken it outside and thrown it at a tree…

Sometimes when I get really mad I will take cottage cheese and fucking throw it at a tree, it doesn’t work well with sliced cheese.

12

is it possible to pan fry with ranch dressing?

13

Good question I could try that tonight. With extra butter of course.

14

FTW.

15

rape then spit