So he’s kinda a packrat, and I’ve been cleaning my room so I have a bunch of shit in there that I’m going to throw out.
So he’s in there looking at the shit I’m going to throw out and he finds a Manhattan Portage bag that I wasn’t going to throw out, and he proceeds to reclaim it from me. Oh well, no problem.
So anyway, for anyone who has ever been to my house, my room is in the corner, and there’s a little family room type thing that it’s attached to. I’m sitting here watching conan, getting sleepy and shit, on the computer, whatever. He’s in my room rifling through more shit.
Out of nowhere, I smell this fucking stench, like the most fermented disgusting SHIT I have EVER SMELLED IN MY LIFE. I begin gagging and before I could say anything, my dad pokes his head out of my room and looks at me while I am tearing. He proceeds to laugh uncontrollably and fucking farts again.
This makes me laugh, but I’m still gagging, but because I am laughing, I have to breathe, which causes me to inhale, making this never ending cycle of laughing - gagging - puking in my mouth - gasping for air - breathing type thing.
In the middle of his laughter, he was telling me about how one of his employees had his wife bring in refried beans and some homemade enchiladas and shit. That, and he ate brocolli for dinner (with rice and some other tofu shit), and he’s been eating this wierd shit for his diabetes for the past week.
I seriously want to die.
I have moved into my room - it has this heavy lingering stench, like, it just doesn’t go away. I tried to combat it with my own brand, but my brand completely gets snuffed out by this lingering methane produced from my dad’s ass. It’s like 35 degrees out - and my window is open.
It smells so BAD, and as I type this - he is fucking farting and laughing even more outside on the couch lol
Fuck man
that made the morning right there!