LOL, my poor co-worker

At my company we always have leftover food from lunch meetings or various vendors and such… so today, there was this huge variety plate of wraps and sandwiches. I noticed a kobe beef shortrib sandwich with carmelized onions.

Yuuuummm

Next to this huge platter was supposedly the best chili in NYC, but smothered in cheddar cheese, and on a baked spud.

So I try a little bit of the chili and cheese on a spud and have some kobe sandwich.

MMmmm.

Here I am, 35 minutes later, dropping the worst bombs I have ever dropped in my LIFE. I have 2 sheets of bounce dryer sheets stuffed in my boxer briefs and they (my farts, not my boxers - although I’m sure they aren’t smelling like fresh roses either) still smell rancid. [I learned that trick from one of my pothead friends who stuffs an empty toilet paper roll with a couple dryer sheets and exhausts his smoke through them and it doesn’t smell as bad.]

I don’t know what the hell is going on, but last night started some baddddd BMs in my stomach. You know how people say “Everyone likes their own brand”? Well I wasn’t liking too much of my own brand last night (Fox and Oroc can attest to that) but today, it’s like a whole 'nother animal, with a hint of Howie.

Thank God my co-worker is a friend. We have the door closed but some toxicity definitely leaked out of the room; as I glance over just in time to see passer-bys throw up in their mouth a little and cover their noses with their hands.

Time to go, I need to drop some kids off at the pool before I get on the train. God forbid I am still gassy then. I sleep on the train and the last thing I want to do is gas the fucking entire car and not know it. And maybe take the risk of shitting my pants too.

hahahahhahahhahahaha god howie and his poop stories

this may qualify as too much info, very funny though because we’ve all been there

good luck with the nuclear waste disposal

LOL, at dyer sheets in your boxer briefs

LOL nice

lol that is great.

i like the very last sentence

I was like that yesterday… I spend the entire night under the covers huffing the farts :slight_smile: I felt like I was in heaven.

i drank a lot, a LOT in orlando from thurs to monday. monday night going from emerils to margaritaville was the worst. way WAY too much. i was so dehydrated that i wasn’t…well, releasing. monday morning, 6am, get to the airport, get some water in me. then the stomach exploded. took off my belt to go through airport security, the bubble dropped. OOOHHHHH it was the worst feeling ever.

10 minutes later, one of the top 10 relieving feelings in my life :slight_smile:

Should have waited until the inflight movie started… and added your own soundtrack :slight_smile:

hahaha.

nice.

I hate being in an office with cubicles because when I have one of those days, theres no shutting the door, it all gets around.

And it’s easy to figure out who it is haha.

The best part of this entire story is that I can picture you telling this story.

:frowning: Miss howie.

These stories are always a classic. <3

Dude. I’m gonna have to call you Ass Spoof from now on

I knew this was going to be a howie farted story just by the title.

LOL wow howie…

another great poop/fart story from the big kahuna

howie - work on your inner dialoging abilities… none of us need to know this much info

this is the best poop story i can remember that i’ve ever read from you

Your actual office space is pretty small…I feel REALLY bad for your co-worker. You have an amazing office though.