I could get use to this, i really think i found my calling 
Don’t remember all of the conversation, but i tried to make some of it entertaining where possible…it’s unfortunate i was given such short notice and so little info on the guy/his personal life, otherwise i could have had a lot more fun with it.
I was under the impression that i had to get HIM to confirm his first and last names, since my only experience with this kind of stuff is from seeing the movie Pineapple Express lol…so of course i acted like i knew him from somewhere before:
…After about 10 minutes of bullshitting about the motorcycle for sale that i was pretending to come look at and be interested in…
Me: Hang on…you said your name is XXXX right? Where did you go to school, i think we’ve met before…
Him: Hamburg…what’s you name again? Where’d you go to high school?
Me: Blah blah blah…
Him: blah blah blah…
Me: What’d you say your last name was?
Him: XXXX XXXXXX
My Thoughts: “Dear Diary…Jackpot.”
He said i was one of few people to show up to look at the bike that actually have a motorcycle license, and offered to let me take it for a rip. This is where i clearly didn’t think anything through, since i wore shorts and flip flops…i shoulda wore sneakers at least so i coulda beat the bike up a bit before handing over his papers. I fail…oh well.
Other small tid-bits of the convo that were a bit funny…
Him: (walking toward my POS spray canned flat black rusty eg civic sedan) Sweet car…i considered building a civic before, i was gonna make it right side driver and everything!
Me: What a waste of time and money…
Him: (Ignoring my disapproval for his “project” idea") Yeah money’s been kind of tight, this bike is the only ride i have and i need to sell it so i can hopefully get a car, so the civic project will have to wait.
Now…some people might feel a little bad at this point, considering i’m about to deliver court papers since he’s a few grand in debt and refusing to pay…but i’m quite comfortable.
More car BS…
Him: This paint looks awesome, i helped a friend flat black his civic once but it didn’t come out this good.
:jawdrop:
My civic is a rusty, driveway-paintjob, spraycan flat black POS…
Him: Yeah the one i helped my friend with is on HondaTech, you on that forum?
Me: Ha no thanks…forums are full of nerds and fggts…not my thing, but hey…whatever floats your boat. I won’t judge.
He had also previously mentioned living in Florida but recently coming back here because he has a 2 year old daughter living in the area with the “bitch mother.” I just assumed she was a “bitch” in his eyes because she wanted child support he clearly couldn’t afford…or maybe she’s a bitch because she has custody since he has a record that may not look good when trying to get custody of his kid.
So…money is tight, 23 years old with 2 year old daughter, can’t afford shit…now should i feel bad? Survey says…no dice. I’ve worked collections, and hated it, but while there i learned to have zero sympathy for people that make no effort to pay bills.
At this point in time he’s walking around my car checking it out, admiring the Honda Leetsauce, and i take this as my opportunity to walk to the car as well since i have an envelope sitting on the passenger seat for him. I pick it up, and walk up to him and he pays no attention to it…and interrupt him mid sentence since i knew it was going to be something gay about how awesome my ride was, and asked:
Me: Kind of off topic, but have you ever seen the movie Pineapple Express?
Him: (visibly confused and at a loss for words) Huh? Um…no, wait…yeah, yeah i think i have…?
Me: Well dudebro, this is for you. You just got served…
Him: wha-wha-what??? Oh…Jeremy, right?
Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Have a nice day sir.
So wait wait wait…does this mean he won’t be arrested if he doesn’t show up in court now?
to those of you who offered to help then never replied to my texts. L2BeReliable