Not even sure if you’ll get the reference, but all I can picture is this guy
Saying the following:
I apologise unreservedly.
I offer a complete retraction.
The imputation was
totally without basis in fact,
and was in no way fair comment,
and was motivated purely by malice.
I deeply regret any distress my comments
may have caused you or your family.
And I hereby undertake not to repeat any
such slander at any time in the future.