I know this is really long, but I need someone to try to snap some logic into my head…
My mom moved to SATX 9 years ago, when I was going into my junior year in high school. My stupid ass didnt want to go because I didnt want to leave my boyfriend or the rest of my family. She tried to bribe me by offering to buy me any car I wanted, I still didnt want to go.
My mom and I have always had a close relationship, so it had nothing to do with her on my reasons to stay. I always said after graduation I would go. Then after graduation, I started racking up bills, and couldnt afford to move. Then I got a good job, started paying down my bills, and didnt want to leave my job. Then my job opens a market in April of 2006 down there, I have all intentions of going. When it all became a reality, I backed out…again.
Now she is down there having some problems (not her health, she is probably healthier than I am). Mostly financial problems and none that have anything to do with her. Her deadbeat boyfriend started doing drugs again and withdraws all the money from their account. He is a recovering alcoholic and will go clean for a long time, and then go on a binge and mess up again. He truly is a great person, when he is clean. They have been together on and off for close to 14 years. She keeps taking him back (I have so much hatred for him because my mom is such a good person, just doesnt have the confidence to get by on her own).
So now, the opportunity arises again for me to go down there. She needs my help so she doesnt lose her house, and I could use the help of not having a $600 month rent for a 1 br townhouse. She has a brand new 4br doublewide.
I look up on my works Internal Opportunity Postings website, and there is a position down there that I could take. Basically everything is falling into my lap and I cant seem to bring myself to do it. All my family is here, but most I do not see or talk to that much other than holidays and birthdays. (not a close knit family).
What are your thoughts? Please keep this on topic.
Thanks!
I would take a week off of work and if you can afford it fly there spend a week there see what its like. Honestly if I was you I would go. Because if you dont your just going to think about it. Its a tough decision to make. But if you need any help packing or moving let me know… and I am sure jeff would help also :D… best of luck to you.
are you maybe thinking you do not want to move down there because its not what you want from your life? Personally, I would not do it. I would have my mom come back and live with me. And get rid of the dead beat boyfriend for good! Its hard to move to a new place, and change everything you know. I am not sure if I could do that right now in my life. I guess it all comes down to what you feel is right in your heart.
seems to me your mom really needs you and you only get one mom. Its not like your stuck there forever you can always transfer back. Things happen for a reason and it seems fate is pushing you to go there with your mom, as you said it all keeps coming back to it. Go be with your mom!
I have tried, but as dumb as this sounds…its true. She has whats called SADD…its some kind of seasonal depression. She was on meds for panic attacks, which got so bad she wouldnt leave the house. It happened every winter. She hasnt had one since she moved to Texas. Her moving back here is out of the question…she actually tried about 3 years ago, it was right after Thanksgiving. She started over with the panic attacks within 4 days. I always thought they were in your head, until I recently had a few.
I think my biggest problem/fear is starting over and just leaving everything I know. I hate when its 20 degrees, but I also hate when its 110 degrees.
I have visted there I think every year since she moved. I like it there alot, I know my way around for the most part, but I always couldnt wait to come home. Then again, bc my day to day routine was here. Ugh.
Thanks everyone for your input and thoughts. They really help!!!
She has been. If you only knew. I cant for the life of me figure out why she stays with him. She says shes not getting any younger, and she has no money or retirement to fall back on. He makes about 75k (at the least) a year at the airport. So hes on one half of the house while she is on the other, he keeps helping her pay bills. More like roommates. He works nights and she works days so they never see each other. My moms self confidence is terrible, and I could never understand why. She gets hit on by guys my age, shes petite, and a beautiful woman…she just has the worst luck with men. I tell her about stuff I go through and shes like oh arent you upset or how are you dealing with it…and Im thinking, I am fine. I just dont let shit bother me I guess. She is the total opposite. Which sucks.