once i was seeing this girl a long time ago, she was a few years younger than me and i was 20 maybe? anyway, we both had fake id’s so we would go out, get shitty, and then go back to her house and bang. she lived with her parents and her room was in the basement. she wasnt allowed to have guys spend the night so i would have to park down the street and walk to her house and be suuuuper sneaky.
anyway, this one night i go back to her house, snky snky like, and we bang, ect and pass out. i wake up at 5 am suuuuper fucked up. like still drunk fucked up and i have to shit something awful. so i go into her bathroom (she had one of those 1/2 bathroom/laundry room deals in the room over from her bedroom) and take a huuuuge shit. like im talking a boo boo of epic proportions. needless to say, when i flushed the toilet clogged.
so here i am, attempting to be super quiet because this girls dad is going to be up soon and he has no fucking clue who i am, wasted, with a clogged toilet. there is no plunger in sight. i say fuck it, what are the chances of her dad using this bathroom, and sneak back to her bed.
i wake up the next morning (afternoon, really) and go into the bathroom all snky like to fix the mess (she was still passed out) and MY POOP IS FUCKING GONE. someone cleaned the massave disgusting shit i had taken a few hours after it had been marinating in its own juices. the girl was still asleep so i went back to bed (again) and to this day i have no idea what happened to the mystery boo boo.