Its not selfish at all. Some people just cant take it well, I am one of those people too. I dont have many beliefs and I am not religious at all, I am a very scientific person I guess. I only believe what I see and can prove. Life and death scares the shit out of me, its the one thing i cant controll and it bugs the hell out of me. When I lost my friend way back, it crushed me and I will never forget the feeling seeing him at the wake. I still picture it sometimes, and it creeps me out inside my head. Sometimes I wish I didnt have to see it. My grandfather passed recently too, and I saw him in his bed that morning. Another thing I will never erase from my memory. I guess going through these things is somethign you have to do, and it does make you a stronger person, but still only your own thoughts roaming around in your head are what you need to liston to.
Adam, I feel for you big time too man. I am so sorry to hear about this, please keep your head up. My thoughts are with you aswell.