I decided to plant some things next to our house on the side where there was a flower bed, but really just dirt. I planted cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, and I thought I remembered planting lettuce.
Well, I saw some big, green, long, leaves that looked like romaine lettuce. I rinsed my lettuce and put it in the fridge. So after cleaning the house after a great night at work I said golly, I want something light before I go to sleep.
So I cut up the nice greens. Well, I put a little carrot in and a little onion and some parmesan cheese and some Italian dressing…
I sit down to eat it and I take a bite and it’s sour, somewhat reminiscent of dandelions.
You know what it reminded me of. We used to have this teacher in elementary school—she was a real piece—(Mrs. Dalbo was her name) that used to have these thinking hats. White was the “knowledge” hat and red was the “caring” hat. I guess I was always mad that she never let me into the Gifted and Talented program, because I apparently am not gifted or talented. Well I did get to be both at one time of the week when she would come in and wear a different hat. Anyway, one of those days she took our gifted and talented class out to the soccer field and we ate dandelions. Of course all her little peons at the time agreed with her that eating oats that have already been digested by the horse were far tastier than the oats preceding the horse’s mouth. I didn’t quite understand. I think I just spit it out. I can’t remember, but I remember that the hats were changed to shoes or scarves after I left. I always wanted to wear a thinking surrong.
So I suspect that it’s was not lettuce. My kitty also told me it was not lettuce, as he is a connoisseur of lettuce leaves. My cat can be a bit effeminate at times.
Well, this story provides the most imperfect segway into…
There were two cop cars infront of my house. I wondered why. Somebody broke into my neighbor’s house and took all her bras and underwear. Goodness, what is wrong with people. I mean, she’s good looking (late 20s) but WTF.
ok… so I thought this was one of those jokes that uses a dumb setup line like “I planted stuff next to my house” and has a funny ending, but it actually ended up to be the worst story i’ve ever heard in my entire life. I appload you for your achievement.
