so, as some of you may already know, i work at a pizzeria. i have since i was in high school (i know, sad right?) anyway, this story goes back to the summer after my senior year in high school, a great time in my life…
wait. lets tarentino this a bit.
the story will start on a brisk october day in the fall of 05. i had just gotten out of work, and was in my black mk3 jetta on my way to my friends mike (osiris) and dan’s (dex) apartment. i decided to stop at a gas station on my way to pick up some beer, smokes and gas.
i walk in to make my purchase, and go to the counter with my fresh 18 pack of cold budweiser.
“a pack of marb lights box, too” i say
“can i see your id?” the man behind the register says.
“sure.”
i had just turned 21, not an unreasonable request. i reach into my pocket and pull out my id.
“this isnt you.” the man behind the counter says
“sure it is!” i say. “i just got my hair cut, i may look a little different”
“ahhhh…” he says “last time i saw you your hair was longer”
“last time?” i say, confused. i had only been into this gas station once before, there was no way the attendant could have known me from there.
“yeah,” he says. “you worked with my wife amanda.”
“amanda?”
im very confused at this point, trying to think of someone who does or had worked with me at XXXXXXXXXX at one point or another.
it finally hits me. holy shit, i think… amanda…
rewind about 3 years. its the summer after my senior year. my boss hires this cute sub girl, amanda. she was quite the flirt, and within about a month of working there she had worked her way through almost the entire male staff at xxxxxxxxxxxx. she always needed rides home at night after work, we used to take turns, im sure you can all use your imagination and realize why.
so now here i stand, in front of a man who’s wife’s mouth had been around my dick more times than i care to remember.
“ohhh amanda!” i exclaim. “hows she doing?”
“good,” he says. “she’s 6 months pregnant, we got married about 4 months ago”
“wow, that was fast! how long were you guys dating for?” i ask
“about 5 years actually!”
“oh, wow man thats great! congratulations!!!”
“thanks,” he says, “i’ll tell her you said hi.”
“ya do that… welp, see you later!”
i leave in quite the hurry attempting not to burst out in laughter. that poor sonuvabitch seemed to have no idea… and none of us knew she had a boyfriend. she seemed to have left that part out.
i almost feel bad for that guy.
almost.
