mine: from one of the deathwish movies…
From: Closer
Anna: We do everything that people who have sex do!
Larry: Do you enjoy sucking him off?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: You like his cock?
Anna: I love it!
Larry: You like him coming in your face?
Anna: Yes!
Larry: What does it taste like?
Anna: It tastes like you but sweeter!
Larry: That’s the spirit. Thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Now fuck off and die, you fucked up slag.
it’s all about honesty you see.
“heinekin? FUCK THAT SHIT, pABT’s blue RIBBON”
“And that was the second time I got crabs.”
“It stinks like sex in here.”
“Aw fuck it. You handle the hog.”
“Who wants a mustach ride?”
“The Schnozzberries! They taste like… Schnozzberries!”
“Powdered sugar. It’s delicious.”
Shenanigans
Prince John: Such an unusual name, “Latrine.” How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO “Latrine”?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be “Shithouse.”
Prince John: It’s a good change. That’s a good change!
“Hey Favre, what’s the name of that place you go to? The one with all the crazy stuff all over the walls?”
“Oh you mean Shenanigans?”
“i boinked her!”
“mama said they was my running shoes…mama said they’d take me anywhere”
cop - “pull over!”
harry - “no it’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!”
“nazi’s area always angry…it’s like it’s their job”
“i caught you a delicious bass”
“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
is this from a movie, or is this something beck said? :gotme:
" Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with Samurai swords "
" As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you’re unconvinced that a particular plan of action I’ve decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is… I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time! "
“PC load letter…What the FUCK does that mean”
Hello, Peter. What’s happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Yeah. Uh, did you get that memo?
Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. The problem is, I just forgot this one time. And I’ve already taken care of it so it’s not even a problem anymore.
Yeah. It’s just that we’re putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could just remember to do that from now on, that’d be great. All right!
After snowball leaves…
Dante You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him!
Veronica Because I never HAD sex with him.
Dante You sucked his dick!
Veronica We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around.
Dante Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?
Veronica Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn’t mean I didn’t just go with people.
Dante Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
Veronica I’m sorry, Dante, I thought you understood!
Dante I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that’s all you said!
Veronica Please calm down.
Dante How many?
Veronica Dante…
Dante How many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica Let it go!
Dante How many?
Veronica All right, shut up a second and I’ll tell you! Jesus! I didn’t freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked!
Dante This is different, this is important. How many?
[long pause as customer buys something]
Dante Well?
Veronica Something like… 36.
Dante What? Something like 36?
Veronica Lower your voice.
Dante Wait a minute, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
Veronica Ummm…37.
Dante I’m 37?!
…
Dante My girlfriend’s sucked 37 dicks!
Customer In a row?
Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster’s Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
lol sooooooooo many good quotes
SMOKEY: Debbie, why you try ta hook me up with that fat-ass bald headed girl
DEBBIE: Who Rita?
SMOKEY: Yeah!
DEBBIE: Rita’s not fat, shes just big boned
SMOKEY: SHIT! that bitch all fat and round on the outside, talkin bout lookin like Janet Jackson, bitch get out the car lookin like Freddy Jackson.
DEBBIE: HAHAHA ,I’m sorry I thought you two would like eachother
SMOKEY: You knew she was fat, you knew she had no damn hair!
DEBBIE: HAHAHAHA
SMOKEY: Don’t laugh , it aint funny
SMOKEY: what Debo doin here?
DEBBIE: He’s asleep with Felicia
SMOKEY: Felicia fuckin Debo too!!!
“You’d do that for me? Why, thank you, but I’d much rather you SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WASH THE FUCKING DISHES! Fucking psychobabble bullshit asshole!”
hehe…I just watched Waiting…again.
Monty’s Mom: So I called your house today, at two. You were still asleep, weren’t you?
Monty: That’s an understatement.
Monty’s Mom: So what did you do last night? I trust my little angel didn’t do anything immoral.
Monty: Well, ummm… Let’s see. I started by getting completely hammered drunk. It was bad. Then drove, while intoxicated, to pick up this disease-infested hooker.
Monty’s Mom: Uh huh…
Monty: From there… uh, let’s see. Me and the hooker went back to my place…
Monty’s Mom: The hooker and I.
Monty: Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place and from there… God, it was just a blur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex, while taking the Lord’s name in vain.
Monty’s Mom: Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child everyone thought he was retarded?
Monty: Dean, doesn’t my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should?
Monty’s Mom: So why aren’t you and Serena still together? I liked her.
Monty: I don’t know. I guess it got old. We had a relationship based on orgasms.
Monty’s Mom: Oh, how charming. You are being safe aren’t you? I don’t think I could handle the idea of you reproducing.
Monty: Come on, mom! Of course I’m being safe. I pull out.
Monty’s Mom: Yes, well your father pulled out too but we’ve all seen the tragic end of that story.
Monty: You think I wanna have kids? Absolutely not! That’s why I stick to anal sex.
Monty’s Mom: If only I had been so lucky