the alarm sounds, and i realize its a morning not unlike the ones after a night of bowling, rot gut and horrible smelling farts. as i reach over to slap the snooze button for its first of 8 beatings i suddenly remember it was snowing last night when i came home. even the early morning i can see through the fog of war that the civic is going nowhere on the azenis. so i muster up the strength to lift myself from the bed, feed the animals, and dress myself.
i open the door to feel the 29* air, and that pretty much sucks. walking towards the car i notice the ice cacoon. i know the door is not going to open, but i pull on the handle anyways. after that small let down i head over to the rear of the car so i can climb through the hatch. the problem is that its early, i am hung over, the car is covered in icy snow, and i have no idea where the key hole is. after five min of digging i finally find the hole and get the hatch open. i climb through the car and throw my shoulder at the door a couple times, and voile, it opens.
after pulling the car over to the front door i go up the stairs to where my snow tires are sitting, and it happens. do you know that fart? the one that feels like you just completely deflated your body. i let out a sigh of relief, and bend over to pick up the first tire. remember mike tyson in the 80’s, and how people would look after catching one of his upper cuts? yea, it was kind of like that, but i percivered, grabbed the tire and put it on the car. five min later i go back up the stairs to grab the second tire, and walk right though that same fart. this fart had some serious staying power. i swear i was almost sick, but i pushed on, and managed to get all four snow tires on my car, and make it to work only a handful of min late.