[FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][LEFT]The Effects of
Drinking[/LEFT]
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][LEFT]491 Magazine Issue 2 - 1983
[/LEFT]
[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][LEFT]I had 12 bottles of whiskey in my cellar
and was told by my wife to empty
the contents of each and every bottle
down the sink— or else! So I said I
would, and proceeded with the unpleasant
task. I withdrew the cork
from one bottle and poured the contents
down the sink, with the exception
of one glass, which I drank. I
extracted the cork from the second
bottle and did likewise, with the exception
of one glass, which I drank. I
then withdrew the cork from the third
bottle and poured the whiskey down
the sink which I drank. I pulled the
bottle from the cork of the next, and
drank one sink out of it and threw the
rest of it down the glass. I pulled the
sink out of the next glass and poured
the cork down the bottle. Then I
corked the sink with the glass, bottled
the drink, and drank the pour. When I
had everything emptied, I steadied the
house with one hand, counted the
glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with
the other, which were 298. As the
house came by I counted them again
and finally had all the houses in one
bottle, which I drank.
I’m not under the affluence of incohol,
but some thinkle peep I am. I’m not
half so thunk as you might drink. I
fool so feelish. I don’t know who is
me and the drunker I stand here the[/LEFT]
longer I get.
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I don’t get it
I have a shirt that goes along the same way starting off saying “I will not come home drunk”
My parents got it for me when i got dropped on the porch and doorbell rang in the early hours 
I didnt wake up until 8-9pm the following day.