To my fellow coworkers...

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
21

[quote=“SVT3945,post:13,topic:38731"”]

ADD A VENDING MACHINE AND YOU ARE SET

[/quote]

i tried, they wont go for it.

22

:lol:

23

Bump for the day after St Patty’s day…

:picard:

How the hell do you clench your asshole tight enough to build up that kind of pressure…

24

i see that You’ve never been to jail.

25

There is no shit like being lactose intolerant, and then having some.

For one it comes out of nowhere, and your ass just goes. YOU GO NOW, SHIT!! NOW!!!

Then it fires out with a PSI of probably 15, you get major backsplash if your not careful and just let it go.

ITS loud, it smells like rotten eggs and sulfur, it burns the nose, and only lasts about 20 seconds.

Step 1, run to bathroom clenching your ass.

Step 2 undo belt and button on patns before reaching stall,

Step 3, if public bathroom, lay down TP anti aids seat.

Step 4, Sit down, let er rip, with control as to not get backsplash.

Step 5, listen for people going WTF!!!

Step 6, stand up, clean up and slowly exit the bathroom so no one notices it was you.

Step 7, wash hands and return to work with you asshole on fire.

26

:word: I had an epiphany and realized that I was lactose intolerant the night I actually lost my balance and almost fell off the toilet.

27

Wait, wat?

28

poop just poop

29

You realize that you are in the business of selling specialty gases right?

30

You didn’t by chance hit your head and come up with this?

31

The key to no backsplash is the to make a tp landing pad first.

32

That’s nice, but doesn’t help when my coworkers are sharting hard enough to get bass drum style resonance from a toilet bowl.

33

I dont get drum bass.

More like if you had a blow off valve set to 20 psi, but instead of blowing just air, it blew air and 10w30 oil at the same time, with random chunks in there.

34

Rig a sound activated strobe…?

then turn out the light…

35

print that and post it on the inside of the mens room door

36

or…
you can rig my huge button.

Thats surely to piss them off and get them out in a hurry?

Better yet… strobes and fuccillo.

37

Mustard Onions hot italian sausage covered in sourkrawt and cashed with a 6 pic of Genesee cream ale.

38

I can has the assplosions when I eat anything dairy=)

39

You get a few warnings with it.

A few really horrid, silent but rediculus farts.

a few feelings of your intestines, building pressure(thats your signal to get moving)

You got about 60 seconds after the gurgling intestines before your gonna blow and you cannot stop it.

I have deemed this the “Rocket Shit” or RS for work safe

40

Dynamat the stalls?
Not only will it keep the sound contained, but it will really help the SQ and SPL for feces hitting water.