To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
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To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST.

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message.

I’d like to apologize. I didn’t expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. It was not cold, but I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. It’s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn’t it? I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse since you left your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I didn’t want your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I called your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, and explained your situation. I bought myself and four other people in the gas station a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy over by Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a pink “pimp mobile” parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the driver side.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I’ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don’t know what’s going on with that. I got in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I’d like to apologize for not killing you, and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I hope you’ll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. - Alex

Don’t know if it’s a repost. Did a search but that feature isn’t working so well recently.

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Definitely a repost but how would anyone know with the broken search.

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lol. nice.

will read again.

edit: i wonder if there is any validity to it.

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Seriously?

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lol. Never read this before.

Actually I thought…wow Spence is pretty BA. Untill the last line of course.

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Lmao

I bet some details are true, but he would be in a lot of trouble if they ever actually tracked him down for doing some of that stuff and he seems like a fairly intelligent person… so I doubt all of that was true.

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I think it would have been way better if he just called the cops and had the guy arrested.

Getting f*cked by the long dick of the law would suck much worse then any of the things this guy did.

Plus most of what he did was illegal in itself.

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If there’s any validity to that at all, (doubt it, but hey) that redefines bad-assery.

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Hahah if its true thats hilarious.

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I was LOL’n until the smashing the car up thing. Yeah, it may have came back hard on the mugger but what’s that have to do with ruining my car for it?

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All that is man.

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you mean getting slapped on the wrist by the gay palm of the law?

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lol. entirely possible.

he should have just shot him. sounds like a free kill.:shrug:

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Wonder if this is still on best of…

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so silly but doubt the story is true

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anyone who drives a pink pimp mobile caddilac deserves it. :eekdance:

totally different story if you’re driving a pink/purple “dirtye30” though.

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the only funny thing in this thread is that people believe it’s got even the slightest chance of being true.

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Entertaining regardless.

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If you shoot and kill someone even in self defense, plan on dropping a solid 30K in lawyer and attorney fees. Not worth it.

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Lmao, good laugh for the mood im in.