:lol:rofl:rofl:rofl:lol
unless i was there it coulda been crazier :excited
I was gonna chime in until I realized I could be arrested for most of it. Feel free anyone that knows me to add something of my shenanigans.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I have you all beat though…
Disclaimer: Also I have been sober for 7 months and learned a very hard lesson from years of alcohol abuse.
o yes it did.
I TRIED to do it, I didnt succeed.
she was all for me putting something in her ass, just not something next to a mini bomb.
All i can say is look what god did matt. I know for a fact no one can beat some of the shit. Denali hood pool, 2 am 12 gauge, betting you cant take home the nastiest thing in the bar, you willingly picking up the nastiest thing in the bar for fun. Pissing on said nasty womens bed after doing other shit, then having breakfast with her son thats older than you in the morning… Then doing more shit.
There is noo fucking way in hell anyone can beat even some of the tame stories
One night we played 80 mph bumper cars… Driving the cars of the girls we were bringing back to myplace to do more fucked up shit.
+1 Matt your storys are absoloutely fuckin ridiculous…
and I need to hear some of these i havent heard these ones yet…
i don’t do anything dumb when i’m drunk. ever.
but I wanna hear some of these Matt stories.
Haha thanks DJ. How’s your parents hot tub??
I don’t even know where to begin…
I’ve urinated (purposely) on 4 people that I can remember and shit off of a 4th story balcony onto some dudes picnic table in the middle of NYC.
and yes fucked some old bitch that had a Wiley Coyote tattoo on her tit, then woke up having no clue where I was, so I got dressed walked out and to my dismay ended up having to sit through family breakfast with her 17 year old son. I unfortunately was too hungover to eat the pop tarts and eggo waffles… Did I mention I was 19 at the time? The only good part of the situation was she did ATM (ass to mouth).
Was physically thrown out of Night Moves for handing the girl on stage a handful of change. She promptly threw it across the room hitting other patrons of said fine establishment.
Dropped my pants bare ass in the middle of Denny’s and calmly walked out. Then went up to a window outside and pissed all over it while waving to everyone inside.
There’s much more shit; most I can’t post because I’m not going to admit to crimes online no matter how funny they may have been.
Being sober now and looking back at those years is a trip.
Member WaltBabyLuv on here knows more than I probably do. Bug him for some.
God damn, I need to start drinking again…
Shit’s kinda stupid if you ask me. I’ve probably spent between lawyers, cars, beer, and other random bull shit about $100K.
If anyone has watched the rise and demise of Steve-O I would compare myself with how he was minus being in a flea market circus lol.
I don’t want to be a buzz kill but if there’s one thing anyone learns from me is watch out when drinking and don’t drink and drive.
Ffuck i forgot about the handfull of pennys to the stripper night, we were even drinking jack out of wine glasses in a limo that night
lol we should meet up and discuss stories over beers. only good can come from it.
If you got bail money lol
i always got bail moneys.
HAHAHAHAHA You are the Man
some good stories.
don’t drink much lately, but i have a few good ones from back in the day.
nahhh, matt ryan sounds like a legend :lol
cliff notes: get hammered saturday night, get a ride to waterfest in the morning, said ride bounces early, get bigred and tdilogik to bring me back to my motel where the mr2 waits, after 3.5 hours end up not being able to find it because i forgot where it was and have to drive home and just drove BACK down today to pick it up after 2 hrs of research trying to find where the place was :lmao :lmao
theres also like 7 HILARIOUS twists to the story that i dont feel like typing out, but they involve the two funniest people i’ve ever met in my life, broken transmissions, a funny smelling green plant, 1.8T swapped scirocco’s, etc. etc. etc.
overall, a good weekend.
Well about a week ago, had a fire at my house and I got absolutely shitfaced. For one reason or another I had my swords with me, and my friends thought it would be funny to make my car alarm go off. Here I am in my backyard, I heard that shit and grab the nearest weapon… Yeah. There was a pack of highschoolish scene kids meandering down my street, and I chased them down the street brandishing my sword until my friend tackled me.
Kramer, drugs are bad.:facepalm
Besides the usual urinating/vomiting in front of people and in public… I’d have to sayyy giving SWIM a “tattoo” was pretty dumb. Also, drinking vodka mixed with italian dressing, sexually harassing young women, making out with 30+ year old women in line at pizza places, jumping off balconies, pouring gas/spraying aerosol paint into fires, pooping on friends’ mean neighbors’ lawns, dropping water balloons off of 13th floor balconies onto occupied porto-potties, getting pulled over for a WWI and RBWI (walking while intoxicated, riding a bicycle while intoxicated), playing the knife between the fingers game, grilling hot dogs on a grate from a refrigerator (coated in rubber), and attempting “flaming” shots are all pretty stupid things SWIM has done.