Wiper fuck.

Okay, I’m truely stumped on this one guys. When I turn my car on, 75% of the time the wipers will come on. Wiper switch arm fully to the up position (off), but will continue on the slow / constant setting (not intermittent, not high speed). I can turn the car off and on again, 75% of the time it will continue, the other 25% it will shut off - for a bit. It makes it really upsetting to drive.

any ideas what could cause such a fuck?

check if the the wiper motor is grounded maybe, or something causing it to have power all the time.

is your car lowered?
check the wiring harness in your wheel well. i bet a couple wires are chewed.