A Rolling Stop....Joke.

An old one…but one of my Favs…

A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says,
What’s the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?
The officer replies, I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop.
But officer, I slowed down, what’s the difference?
The difference is, you’re supposed to stop, says the officer.
But I slowed down! replied the motorist.
The officer says, Let me explain it to you this way.
I’m going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car,
then I’m going to take this stick I carry on my belt
and I’m going to start beating you with it.
After five minutes I’m going to ask you,
do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?

hahahhaah

lol

:lol:

lol

That’s actually pretty damn funny…

flying magic dildo my ass!

I think your words were mixed around a little bit there…

didn’t you ever hear that joke?

I have and it’s pretty damn funny.

not I…

spit it out.

guy goes into an “erotic gifts” shop looking for an anniversary gift for his wife. He walks in, asks what’s new. Lady at the counter says “well, we have a special one of a kind item, but it is very expensive”. The man states that cost is no object, and that he loves his wife dearly. So the woman at the counter goes into the back room. She returns a few minutes later with an ornate wooden box. Inside is a carved wooden penis. Appears very old. The woman, responding to the man’s inquiries as to what makes the item so unique, blurts out:

“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the sex doll!”

The man is stares gape-jawed as the carving flies from the box and begins vigorously pleasuring the sex doll (well, if sex toy dolls can truly be pleasured). Then she says:

“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the peanut butter!”

Instantly the phallic carving diverts it’s efforts from the doll to a nearby, opened, jar of peanut butter. The man, understanding immediately how the toy operated, yells out:

“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the doorknob!”

As predicted, the wooden penis starts ramming the doorknob of the shop. Understanding that this could satisfy his wife with little to no effort from him (aside from occasionally speaking a few words), he wholeheartedly pays the hefty price tag.

Filled with enthusiasm, wanting to show off this present as soon as possible, he races home… well, unfortunately, he speeds unknowingly past a patrol car, and soon finds himself on the side of the road…

“License and registration please… What seems to be the hurry today?”
“Well… it is my anniversary and I have purchased an amazing present for my wife…”
“Oh yeah? And what might that be…”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain, and a little unbelievable…”
“Try me.”
“Well… It’s a flying magic voodoo dildo”

“Yeah. Right. Flying magic voodoo dildo, my ass!”

A guy is going on a business trip and doesn’t want his wife to cheat on him so he goes into this shop and tells the shop guy his situation. The shop guy brings out a box with a “magic dildo.” He guarantees it will give his wife the pleasure she wants, blah blah. He tells him it’s easy to use, just say "Magic Dildo [place you want it.] The guy is excited, purchases it and brings it home to his wife. Guy leaves, wife gets pleasure blah blah blah. She doesn’t know how to make it stop. She gets in her car and tries to drive to the hospital and gets pulled over… She tries to tell the police officer the story and he says… “Magic dildo my ass!”

Well it seems that Newman beat me, and that he knows a different version of the story…

:tup: :rofl:

Thanks

oh yea… i remember.
:tup:

the dildo my ass joke was barely worth a chuckle

it was fucking histarical in 5th grade though

i heard it from beck’s GF

:lol: