guy goes into an “erotic gifts” shop looking for an anniversary gift for his wife. He walks in, asks what’s new. Lady at the counter says “well, we have a special one of a kind item, but it is very expensive”. The man states that cost is no object, and that he loves his wife dearly. So the woman at the counter goes into the back room. She returns a few minutes later with an ornate wooden box. Inside is a carved wooden penis. Appears very old. The woman, responding to the man’s inquiries as to what makes the item so unique, blurts out:
“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the sex doll!”
The man is stares gape-jawed as the carving flies from the box and begins vigorously pleasuring the sex doll (well, if sex toy dolls can truly be pleasured). Then she says:
“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the peanut butter!”
Instantly the phallic carving diverts it’s efforts from the doll to a nearby, opened, jar of peanut butter. The man, understanding immediately how the toy operated, yells out:
“Flying magic voodoo dildo, the doorknob!”
As predicted, the wooden penis starts ramming the doorknob of the shop. Understanding that this could satisfy his wife with little to no effort from him (aside from occasionally speaking a few words), he wholeheartedly pays the hefty price tag.
Filled with enthusiasm, wanting to show off this present as soon as possible, he races home… well, unfortunately, he speeds unknowingly past a patrol car, and soon finds himself on the side of the road…
“License and registration please… What seems to be the hurry today?”
“Well… it is my anniversary and I have purchased an amazing present for my wife…”
“Oh yeah? And what might that be…”
“Well, it’s kind of hard to explain, and a little unbelievable…”
“Try me.”
“Well… It’s a flying magic voodoo dildo”
“Yeah. Right. Flying magic voodoo dildo, my ass!”
