na not shitting the bed. problem with those car’s (05.5-08ish b7 chassis TFSI motors) are that the fuel pump is driven off the cam and the fuel pump follower that rides on the cam wears thru and starts to eat away at the cam… its a recall, hes gonna need a new exhaust cam, revision d iirc, but they do not use diesel injectors, they use direct injection technology which orginally came from diesels (TDI’s for example).
the 07-09 335i (n54) motors are having fuel pump issues aswell since they are direct injection aswell. direct injection+gasoline is pretty new technology so the bugs need to be worked out.
however, vw/audi redisigned the fuuel injection system and now its driven off the opposite cam with no issues (08-current)
the earlier 2.7t’s are known for blowing turbos, also the early tip trannies are straight junk too. all the problems you stated are pretty common problems…