I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’ve been on Hydrocodone since my accident in 2005. I felt and addiction so I stopped taking them cold turkey and felt like a fcking crack head. I told my Dr. he say to ween myself off DO NOT stop like that. He also perscribed me Ultram. Its weak stuff and is only as strong as something like Tylonol. So, it only takes a “bit” of the pain away. It sucks having chronic pain. I have pain almost every other day because of a herniated disc in my lower back, and now my new job isnt helping. Im going to ask my Dr. if theres a stronger Ultram “Mg” I could take (since also like you) really dont like knowing Im addicted to a drug.
Good luck man, you’re not the only one.