Dot

The Department of transportation recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV’s in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh, Shit!”

Only the states of Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Arkansas, Alabama and Kentucky were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were, “Hold my beer, I’m gonna try somethin.”:rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

i almost spit pop all over my monitor! ROFL! :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: i had that in an email awhile ago

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

lol or “just one more time.”

my words before my accident when i got t=boned by a drunk driver were. “OH FUCK”

i think when streetnstrip wrecked he said “shaggy stop scraping your teeth”

Little Johnny is passing his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims “Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out “Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!”

A local county sheriff pulls over a fella for doing 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone.The following exchange takes place:

Cop - May I see your drivers license?
Driver - I don’t have one, it was suspended when i got my fifth DWI.

Cop - Can I see your registration?
Driver - It’s not my car, I stole it.

Cop - This car is stolen!?
Driver - That’s right, but I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Cop - There’s a gun in the glove box!?
Driver - Yes sir, That’s where I put it after I shot the owner of the car and stuffed him in the trunk.

Cop - There’s a body in the trunk!?
Driver - Yes sir.

Being a rookie and not knowing what to do the officer radios his captain. The car is surrounded and the captain approaches the driver

Captain - Let me see your drivers license.
Driver - Certainly sir, here you are…it was valid.

Captain - Who does this car belong to?
Driver - It’s mine officer, here’s the registration…The car was his.

Captain - Reach over and slowly open the glove box, I need to check for a gun.
Driver - Yes sir, but there is no gun in there…Sure enough, nothing in the glove box

Captian - Step out of the vehicle and open the trunk.
Driver - No problem…trunk is opened, nothing but a spare tire.

Captain - I dont understand. The officer who stopped you said that you told him that you didn’t have a license, stole the car,had a gun in the glove box and a body in the trunk!
Driver - Really!? I’ll bet that lyin’ S.O.B. told you I was speeding too!

:bowrofl:

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

:bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl: :bowrofl:

those were good