It’s kinda sad when half the stories involve helpless passed out victims. Pick on someone that’s awake.
I allways wind up doing stupid shit to myself on Accident. A few months back my friends were driving me home, and as they crossed the Rail Road Crossing I decided to pick my nose really quick. Next thing you know I am touching my brain, and there is blood everywhere, that’s the kind of shit that happens to me. Later on that night I fell down the stairs too, and the next moring fell into a cooler at Wilson farms reaching for some Re-hydrating Gatoraid. :banghead:
first was most recent. A good buddy of mine was home for a week and we all got together and partied at his fathers house (just like we used to back in the day). Anyway, my buddy got loaded. It was to the point where he couldnt even stand anymore and passed out sitting down on a futon. I found some double sided tape and wrapped his head in it. I then took all the beer bottle caps I could find and stuck them all over lol. After my friends and I stopped laughing I went and stuck as many empty beer cans as I could find to him lol. I soooo wish I had a camera for that… it was pretty funny. I woke up the next morning to a message on my answering machine “Steve, this is Josh… your not funny, your fucking DEAD”
another quick one… lol
So my ex-girlfriends neighbor, Ryan, had a party the one night (his parents house). We hadnt seen each other in a day or two and ended up meeting at the party instead of going together. After a few drinks and stuff she wanted me to come up stairs with her and talk while she “went to the bathroom”. When we got upstairs all the bedrooms were locked… she went and asked ryan to open one of the rooms, to which he replied “no, I dont want anyone taking anything of my parents, they’ll kill me” or something to that effect.
So we just went into the bathroom and started fooling around lol. Now, the bathroom had 2 doors… one that lead to the hallway, and one that lead into his parents bedroom (both obviously being locked). So while we’re in the bathroom people started knocking on the door and got real pissy with us. “hury up, we’re going to get Ryan”
So I took a Qtip from the medicine cabinet and was able to pop the lock on his parents bedroom door with it lol. To make a long story short… I got some in his parents bedroom and left a nice supprise sitting on the nightstand lol
I was at the DSM Shootout in Norwalk this past August. (You might remember Skrapper’s slip and slide sig that he had.) So we are all stupid drunk. We go swimming. I decide to do a summersault under the water. Pools four feet deep. I’m drunk so make it three. I smash my head on the bottom and misplace a chunk of scalp. I didn’t even remember doing it or realized I did do it until my GF is like “What the Hell did you do to your head?!?!”
I have also tipped over backwards on a plastic chair into a ditch that we pissed in during the whole week while camping. I learned not to rock on plastic chairs while drunk that night!!
i dont remember much of it, but i’m sure there were a lot of funny things, seeing that i am a rediculous drunk, and idolize tucker max…
but what i clearly remember is standing up on a chair in my kitchen and making everybody shut up for my toast…as i was already toasted so to speak…wearing a baby-blue tuxedo print t-shirt that’s like 20 years old (literally), and several sizes too small on me…and after giving my first toast, getting back up because joe (91MR2) requested i do so, to toast one more thing…
so i proceeded to get up on the chair again, raised my glass, and at the top of my lungs yelled VAGINA!..which was followed by defening cheers all around…
probably a lot funnier if you were there…but Joe can attest to it being funnier seen that heard/read…
im not sayin all them…lol… many of them dont get hot girls but theyre great to be around…funniest guys ulll ever meet… the one with the hairy italian ass gets alota good ass (no pun intended). the one thats metro and slighty gay (not really gay) gets some quality female ass also…
i dont know why im tryin to proove them to u guys… i really dont care…
not funny, i did a backflip on my buddies trampoline. It was like 12 at nite. By this time it was all due-ee (sp.) and as i landed i kept my momentum fall off the tampoline. Thank god i landed on the trampoline first b/c i might have gotten seriously injured.
my friend was going into the airforce last october. so we had a party for him.
-we rolled a 13 gram, 2 dutch blunt for 3 people(because us 3 have known each other since we were 3 and it we have been close since preschool) at this point we were so drunk that it was hard to sit still without rocking, swaying and just being visibly drunk.
the dutchess as we called it took 55 minutes and after it was done we sat and began reminising about the past.
my friend going to the air force has always been a big partyier and has never thrown up off of anything. although he has been trashed out of his gord many many times…
…so he begins to tell us this and tell us how macho he is and how much he can party…you know the usual trashed conversation drunks have…and as he is telling us this, he begins to go white as a ghost…literally, pale white. the usual sign that upchuck is on its way.
not after 5 minutes of his macho speech he begins to power-heave like nothing i have ever seen. at least 5-6 good blasts of multi-colored stomach bile in a matter of one and a half minutes.
I died…i have never ever laughed so hard in my life…
and after he was done he leaned back in his plastic chair, snapping it in 3 pieces falling to the ground. he says, “motherfucker fuck this fuckin shit. i dont need this goddamn horseshit. this is some bull-assed-shit. fuck it. fuck. FUCK”
…hahaha and we the proceeded to drink lots more.
