Girlfriend Stories

I thought you were going to say ever have a girl jerk you off while driving… Needless to say I was disappointed lol jk

I had a gf before that actually cut her self and said it didn’t hurt… I really don’t have any good stories atm

My ex. When I was working on a POS honda. she said she wanted to “help”

I handed her a can of undercoating and said “here shake this until it stops rattling”
30 minutes later, I had to to take the can from her to get her to stop.

She kept asking why I was laughing from the garage. I was texting people telling them, about it. Lol

---------- Post added at 12:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:27 PM ----------

good story. LOL <3

+2

in for more stories

one of my friends girlfriends called me at work because her car was making a “ticking noise” after going through the whole oil change speech i told her to add oil to the engine and it would probably be o.k. and to swing by so that i could check it out.

She showed off and the fucking car was smoking everywhere.

me: with a smile- did you spill a little oil
her: yea
me: damn that sucks
her: no my driveway is shitty i just hosed it off
me: ummm ok as i open the hood.
her: hope you can fix it
me: why the fuck is oil all over the fucking engine
her: seriously? you told me to oil it and it would stop ticking
me: ummm ok well i have a customer ill have to deal with this later

A g/f is having Popeye’s chicken for the first time with me some years ago. She is intrigued about the spices in the meat due to injection or marination. I tell her they breed the spice into the meat. “Really?!?!” in a very astonished manor. “No”

Watching a snowy football game she goes “how to they get the snow off the lines” Willybeen says it’s a button in the announcer booth, like a defroster. “Oh”. We continue to watch for 5 minutes pretty straight faced before we had to laugh.

Yeah I tell shitty stories, so what?

My girlfriend was really tired , we were sitting at a red light in the left turn lane… And asked me why i wasnt turning. I responded, you can only do that when turning right.

Lmfao that’s fucking crazy and funny I can’t stop laughing…

Lol no way that oil story is true…I mean I hope to god (or another ghost) that it isn’t.

I’m glad my future wife isn’t braindead.

This thread could go on indefinitely with no one making shit up.

Some stupid bitch from EA did that in my old car as we were going downhill right when another car was passing. If I wouldn’t of had a good grip, we would of been dead. I still kind of believe I died that night, haha.

Hey you never kno these days lol

Are you fucking kidding me?! hahaha The shit that some of you guys post makes my day.

To much to say in here. lol White trash whore that became a stripper and cant hold a job which she finally got a GED.

For now on I have a few questions for the next girls… 1. Have you graduated High School/College? 2. Do you have any thoughts of ever becoming a stripper? 3. How long have you had your current job? 4. Do you have any sort of a Bi-Polar disorder?

lol guess those work for now.

unfortunately this is true. im not keen on making shit up.

LOL JUAT lap dance?

I just might have the winner here…
Few years back, I went to Boston Hotel with the ex for monday night seafood mayhem. We went in through the back entrance. On the door is a sticker that says “No Helmets, No Colors”. She proceeded to point out the sticker and say “Thats bullshit, they aren’t allowed to keep retarded people and black people from coming here”.
It took me a few seconds to realize she wasn’t making a witty joke and was dead serious. I was rolling trying to explain it and of course she got super pissed.

JUAT poll dancing in only a g-string! Degrading to me and my family and herself. “yous a hoe…HOE”