joke of the day

President Obama is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

'Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!

I’ve just received word that the Condom factory in Montana has burned to the ground.

It is estimated that the entire Western US supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week.’

President Obama: 'Sh!t !!

The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies…
We’ll be ruined.’

‘We’re going to have to ship some in from Mexico ?’

‘Bad idea! The Mexicans will have a field day on this one.’

Junior Admin Ass: ‘What about Canada?’

President Obama: ‘I’ll call PM Harper.’

I’ll tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick.

That way they’ll continue to respect the Americans.

Three days later a delighted Obama runs out to open the boxes that arrived at the Post Office.

He finds five million condoms:

10 inches long, 3 inches thick, all coloured Red and white with a maple leaf and small writing on each one…

MADE IN Canada - SIZE: MEDIUM

:canada:

hahaha

yeh thought this was funny

Tour Bus driver is driving with a Bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old Lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady,

‘Why don’t you eat the Peanuts yourself”?

‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’, she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then”?

The Old Lady Replied,

‘We just love the Chocolate around them”.

i just lol’d out loud

thats disgusting.

but funny as fuck

lmfao lmfao

3 men walk into The Guinness Book of records headquarters

the first man claims he has the worlds smallest arm.

the second man claims he has the worlds smalles foot.

the third man claims he has the worlds smallest penis.

after being tested by the Guinness Book of Records, the first man said “wow, i really have the worlds smallest arm!”

the second man said "wow, i really have the world smallest foot!

the third man storms out and says: “WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BEIBER!?”

Har har

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.

The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. “if neither of you objects,” the medic said, “I could give it a try.”

Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrust continued for several long minutes. “Hey, What the hell is happening?”

“Change of plans,” The physician panted.” I’m going to drown the bastard!”

LMAO!!!

hahaha, thats good

No words are necessary for this one…

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:wubJKxB6bCp2nM:http://www.sportslogos.net/images/logos/1/28/full/199.gif&t=1