Motion to ban major league baseball from existance

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PIRATES SIGN T-BALL PITCHER WHO INTENTIONALLY THREW AT AUTISTIC BOY ON COACH’S OFFER OF $25
BUCS’ GM TOUTS PITCHER’S CONTROL AND WILLINGNESS TO TAKE DIRECTION “EVEN IF IT GOES AGAINST EVERY MORAL FIBER OF HIS BEING”

PITTSBURGH - The first time Keith Reese Jr., now 9, was offered money to play baseball, it was $25 to hurl two balls at an autistic teammate. That was last season, and the man who made that offer, Reese’s coach, Mark R. Downs Jr., 29, was sentenced last week to serve one to six years in jail for corruption of minors.

Now, the Pittsburgh Pirates have considerably upped the ante, offering young Reese the major league minimum of $327,000 to pitch for them next year.

Pirates GM Dave Littlefield said Reese exhibits “pin-point control and a willingness to take direction, even if it goes against every moral fiber of his being. That’s the kind of player the Pittsburgh Pirates are looking for.”

Manager Jim Tracy said that Reese will be the Pirates’ enforcer. “When I need to hit a batter in the groin,” Tracy said, “Keith is going to be my ‘go-to’ guy.”