You have my condolences. My grandpa passed away two years ago yesterday. Every now and then something will catch me off guard and I’ll still miss him like hell. That last time he went to the hospital we all knew he wasn’t leaving. The family gathered around from all over the state. I had gone in to see him the day before… Fuck, I’m tearing up at work. NM.
It sucks. It’s OK to miss him, don’t try to justify his death. (I.E. “He’s in a better place now so I should be happy.” Yeah he is in a better place now but it’s still OK for you to be sad and miss him.) If you can surround yourself with friends and family. That’ll help. God knows the funny stories about him will start to flow.