Your logic is flawed.
Splash = Large object breaking surface tension of H20, splash is relative to the size of the object.
If you break the surface tension with a small handful of TP, you will effectively eliminate a splash that will cause any noticeable sounds or “spray back”. The most helpful part of the TP “cushion” is that the splash is greatly reduced because the speed of kinetic energy of said object will be reduced to nothing more than a ripple.
See diagram below:
