Fuck it, proper response it is.
I looked up on the net what a 1/4 mile for a stock G is, but I figured that’s kind of debatable, so I decided to go on driver and pull some records with verified timeslips of bone stock 1/4 mile times. This is what I found:
Reserved for Stock Entries for the VQ35DE
- BobbyD --------- 03 - Sedan - 6MT - 13.84@101 ----- 2.040 60ft — Verified — Street — -1200ft DA
2. Reidonly ------- 05 - Coupe - 6MT - 14.05@102.35 – 2.193 60ft — Verified — Street ---- - Dv8 ------------ 03 - Coupe - Auto- 14.37@96 ------ 2.217 60ft — Verified — Street ---- ???ft DA
- 06g35meister — 06 - Coupe - 6MT - 14.40@96.9 ---- 2.253 60ft — Verified — Street ---- ???ft DA
The bolded entry even matches my year 
Furthermore, my car easily handles and stops better than a 240, looks… well, I wouldn’t even allow anyone to compare the two in terms of looks. And all of this with automatic climate control, power everything I can think of, steering wheel audio, and god knows what else.
Oh, sorry, most important part, my car isn’t made from random pieces of refuse that I grabbed from the junkyard like all of your cars I’ve seen.
So, you were saying? I really don’t appreciate snide remarks.