Serious Question... for pot/ex-pot smokers... seriously

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
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Ok, so a family member of mine who is 17 years old has been smoking since they moved to florida. They say it helps them cope with the shitty life they are living… (They live in a million dollar home, drive a new car, have new everything, and are fairly spoiled) They claim the pot is harmless, blah blah blah. They tell my parents that it has ZERO affect on anything that she does. Her grades in school are below average, however they always have been, before she even started with the drugs. She doesnt care about ANYTHING. Anyway… she wrecked a car, shes hit numerous things with the new car, and realistically shes going to get hurt, arrested, or hurt somebody else.

  • Car has been taken away
  • Cell phone might be taken away
  • Dr was consulted (he recommended drug rehab)
  • Shes basically grounded as of right nowThis keeps happening and she doesnt give a shit about ANYTHING… nothing they say or do matters, and nothing they take away phases her. She throws fit after fit and nothing changes

“its just a phase to get me through my shitty life and highschool, blah blah blah”

“get over it, its just pot, its not coke or ecstacy”

“it helps me cope”

Frankly im tired of hearing it, my parents are losing their minds (I dont understand how she has no fear of them, I worried that they would have kicked my ass had I done a fraction of the things that shes done)

Im seriously concerned for her, my parents, and other people.

What other options do they have… seriously.

I just want to go break her jaw and scream at her right now, its not even funny.

(NON SERIOUS RESPONSES, NEED NOT APPLY.) I’m only asking this because i KNOW theres a lot of people that smoked pot and didnt care about much else, what would/could be done to make you change your ways? or atleast be safer about your habit?

thanks

Options recommended thus far

  • Driving school
  • Remove cell phone/lines of communication
  • Make her pay for her own car/insurance
  • Medical help/counseling
  • rehab
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  1. she’s a woman, of course she can’t drive

nah. in all seriousness, I mean I’m sure the pot doesn’t help her lack of motivation. but she’s going through some shit pot or not man. they need to take her to talk to somebody.

i don’t really think there’s a correlation. there are so many people who smoke pot and do well. if people want to do poorly, i mean pot doesn’t help, but i don’t think it’s the catalyst

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it doesn’t sound like it’s just a smoking problem but many other things that need to be adressed and is using smoking as an excuse…smoking makes people numb to what’s going on but this sounds extreme…

If she is grounded now does she still smoke or is she cut off of it?

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I know someone exactly like this and he was stoned & drunk and just totaled his vehicle and got a DWI(not sure what else he got). I’m curious to see what people tell you to do … but I think that until reality actually sinks in, nothings going to change. they just don’t give a shit about anything …

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If shes grounded, she will have no access to it. The house is alarmed, she will be stuck inside it… It sucks that it is going to come to that.

And andre, i agree I dont think the pot is a catalyst, but she is rather unattentive as things are, im certain the pot isnt helping her pay attention much, and to top it off, she doesnt care. ABOUT ANYTHING. (except maybe the pot and her friends that smoke with her)

When she lived in rochester, the pot was never an issue, it was pretty much non-existant in her group of friends, and she had no need to impress/fit in… shes an amazing athlete, but her motivation now seems to be pot and trying to look pretty.

thanks for stayin on topic all… this situation sucks, it truly is taxing on all parties involved… so shitty…

I want to ring her neck

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ehh, for some people, pot can be the catalyst. She needs to quit the pot and go see a counselor. Sometimes, people who are depressed really just need someone neutral to vent their problems to and listen to them. A counselor can work wonders. Sounds like she probably has some shady friends too. Is she emo?

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Sounds like there are other social/psychological problems involved.
Blaming the Pot is what every parent will do because its EASY and they are in denial that they may not have done a good job raising their kid.

The biggest question that needs a definite answer is does this girl have psychological issues or is it just a “high chasing” drug addiction.

Considering her “i dont care about anything” attitude its very psychological IMO.
The parents created a spoiled brat and now they are looking for salvation through blaming it on something as simple as a drug.
POT doesnt make you not care about life like some other drugs.
She needs a good shrink and a change in environment.

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if it was a “high chasing” drug addiction, she would have moved on to harder drugs by now.

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^^ true

as far as pot being a catalyst, for a 17 year old, it sure as shit could be. Smoking pot in high school and smoking pot in college or when you have a solid goal in life are very very different things.

You treat it differently and as you get older, you know how to seperate doing drugs to have fun, and just doing drugs to do drugs.

bury her up to her neck and stone her… oooorrrrrr rehab.

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are you serious? my advice…smoke some pot and chill out.

shes a teenage girl…the problem isnt the smoking…its the hormones

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first of all i dont understand yourr elation to her. you said a family member of mine who moved to florida. The you talk about your parents being pissed ather. Are your parents down there with her. Just dont quite understand that part. Secondly. Anyone who says pot has absolutley NO negative affects is an idiot. It impairs judgment and wreaks havoc on short term memory. Someone who is lazy to begin with should not smoke weed. Thats part of the reason why i quit. Although it all depends on how you use it as well. You said her grades havent changed since she started using it and neither did mine, but then again i was never high when doing school work or during school. You do have to kind of accept though that she is 17 and a girl and shes gonna bea real bitch to her parents until she gets a clue. Does she have a job? that will help some. She will also start to miss the things that have been taken away from her trust me.

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NO she is not emo, furthest thing from it to be honest.

I agree with Violator again… its not high chasing… there seems to be psych issues here… nothing phases her, its very hard to explain anything to her, because she disregards everything that people say…

as far as saying my parents are doing a bad job, well, they raised 3 other children the same way, and all the others have turned out fine. (shes the youngest, and she moved to florida her freshman year of highschool, all new friends, all new atmosphere (drugs are far more plentiful here)… they moved, she didnt want to, her brother, had to move too… he began smoking too, but he outgrew it almost immediately, he did better in school, and didnt wreck any cars or get in any trouble with it (other than with my parents, lol)

Maybe we are just blaming the drugs, thats how what i feel they are doing, as am i, i DO agree it doesnt seem the be the underlying issue, however, I feel it should be addressed before it gets worse.

It very well may be a phase, but to be honest, Im concerned for her well being during the phase as well as others… the car accidents could very easily have involved other people. Which enrages me.

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She is my youngest sister… i didnt write that, because i didnt want to read POST NUDES… because im not in the mood to deal with that shit right now… and thats what nyspeed does… always

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----will.

here is your serious answer.

People with addiction and use issues can only be helped and be able to move on WHEN THEY WANT TO. for some people it takes hitting rock bottom, for some its just saying ive smoked for 50 years, i think i ill stop.

nothing you guys can say or do will MAKE her stop or want to. she has to experience life sober or have a “sobering” moment to want to live that life.

look into programs(rehab) or the like where she can spend a supervised period of time in which to move on from the need/want to use everyday.

punishing and using “force” or similar styles of parenting will only prolong and multiply use.

its up to her when and where she realizes its not somehing which controls her anymore.

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Yes, she has a job, she works often at a tanning salon near by, however, as of lately, they caught her lying about going to work also… sooo much for a job helping the issue.

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chris, i agree… it just sucks admitting

“nothing i do or say effects you, because you dont give a shit about anything”

They have looked into all those programs, she even started participating in some, but “This is gay” was the response she gave after her third visit.

I feel like she doesnt care because she feels she got screwed out of going to school in NY with her friends and now she wants to make everybody here know how miserable she is a result. I seriously dont think I could upset my parents as much as she has this past year. It truly blows my mind. And she tells me that she thinks that my parents are being mean to her because they want to piss her off, I feel like shes doing the same to them.

Her thought process consists of only the present… she takes NO consideration for repercussions for her actions, she honestly never did in the past it seems either.

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SMOKE EM IF YOU GOT EM!!

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i wish i could help you in this situation bro, call me if you want i’ll tell you about someone i know…and everyone wonders why I don’t drink.

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The word ungreatful comes to mind here.
I say family intervention even tho it wont work.
It will atleast make her feel like shit about it.

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thanks for the insight all… ive been talking to friends who smoke/smoked… they all say the same thing… I just hope the time to get past this doesnt end up hurting somebody… including herself…

pat… If i thought shed listen, id totally take you up on that offer… :frowning: but to put it bluntly… she just doesnt give a fuck about anything