Ok, ive been thinking about this the last few days and its starting to bother me.
Most of you know I am deployed in Iraq right now, have been here for about 10 months now and I am FINALLY starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyways, of course when I first left, all my long time friends were very supportive and I left on great terms with everyone so that was good. I heard alot of “OMG i will write you all the time OMG OMG” so I thought ok cool, i will always find a way to get to email, so i can keep in touch with everyone and i wont come home being clueless as to whats going on with everyone.
Funny how things change with time. :bloated:
There are a few long time friends I have that I havent heard from in months. Now I am not expecting everyone to email me 10x a week ( like Oroc ) just cuase I am here, but at the same time I dont think its asking for too much to get a short email maybe once a month from my friends basically saying hey im doin ok, work sucks, school sucks, bla bla.
I am pretty forgiving and I like to think I am a reasonable guy, but this is really starting to eat away at me. A few of these people I have been through some really good and bad times with, and I figured it was a given that we would stay in closer contact that we have. It says quite a bit when friends that i made while i was home for my 2 week break in March are making an effort to keep in touch with me while others that i have known for years are not doing the same.
Now given everyone has their own lives and theyre busy, but am i being unreasonable by getting pissed cause some of these friends have become ghosts?
yup…Thats what usually happens… You shouldnt get mad at that shit…You dont need them anyways…or do you…?
ohh and another thing,…Im going to PM you every day so you can feel better…lol jk
I have always been absolutely horrible with keeping in touch. Even with my closest and most cared for family. I just think talking to them makes me miss them so much more. Its fucked up and I dunno how to explain it.
if so and no reply’s then ya i would be pissed too.
does it suck they arent emailing you at all? ya it does, if they are as close as you say they are, then that does suck and i would be pissed too.
though i cant say ive ever been in that position (of being away for that long) so i cant realy say how I would feel, or if I would keep emailing one of my good friends if it was the other way around.
send them an email telling them this shit, maybe something happen wheere they really dont have the time, you never know.
^^ Yeah man i should have mentioned that before. I have made an effort for quite a while now with emails, the occasional IM when i can get on, I have tried to get a hold of them with no luck. And i know its not like something went horribly wrong in their lives or some big changes came about, cause i will get emails from some of my other friends and theyll go yeah so i was out last friday night and ran into so and so and they were talkin about bla bla. So then im like hmm ok obviously theyre out and about hangin out , why cant they take 2 minutes to say hey whats up in an email?
Again maybe its all just in my head, but if the positions were reversed, i sure as hell would be doin my best to keep my friend up to speed on whats going on with me. And let me just say it has nothing to do with me being in Iraq, it has everything to do with me just being gone for a long time and there being no response.
I dont care if i moved to paris for a year and was hangin out havin a good old time, i would still expect that those i thought were close to me would stay in touch. Meh, maybe its just me and im overreacting. But on the other hand, I think about all the times I was there to help out the people I am talking about in this instance, and it kinda gets me fired up that they would let me slide off into obscurity in their lives.
Out of sight, out of mind i guess. Oh well life goes on, im not really angry, but i wont forget these kind of things too. I just think it will be awkward if i come home and all of a sudden see these people and ill be like uhh wtf where were you the past half a year?
Tell them. Shoot off an email to these people and tell them it kind of hurts that they aren’t keeping in touch. You’ll feel better to get it off your chest, and some of them may think “oh shit, Ultimate Street Hero (since I don’t know your real name) is actually not too busy staying alive to read my emails.” Personally, I suck at keeping in touch with people I don’t see on a weekly basis and I’m sure some people are like me.
Either way, speak your peace. Get it out there in the open. Tell your friends that you really appreciate hearing from them and it kinda hurts when you don’t hear from them for extended periods of time.
i moved to phoenix arizona about 5 years ago and this same sorta thing happened to me. dont get upset about it because i think its more so human nature that is the cause of it. when you are close to someone like that…email, instant messagers, or even talking on the phone just doesnt give you the kind of satisfaction that hanging out or talking face to face will. you know each other well enough that facial expressions and body language can do more communicating than even words can. now your friends may email you or try to stay in touch just out of respect but with all the BS aside. they know your gunna be back and they just want what you want, to hang out and have things be the way they were before you left. and eventho they are your good friends, these guys prolly didnt email you on a consistant basis before you left so its not something that is a part of your relationship as friends that makes it work so well. with you being separated from your friends and family…you have good reason to focus on something like this. but you have to remember their life, other than your absense, is buisness as usual. your stay there is almost over. try not to focus on these things and serve your time. i guarantee your buddies are gunna be really happy to see you back and things will be back to normal in no time.
and thanks for this sacrifice you’ve made for all of us. reguardless of the politics behind whats going on over there we all appreciate what your doing. :tup:
Sorry, but I don’t think you can get mad. Things will pick up where they left off when you get home, but at a certain point the e-mails either really sound like the others that were sent weeks before, or it takes sooo much effort to keep you up to everything that it’s full of “did I tell you about…well that…and if you can imagine…”
Don’t get me wrong I’d be mad and disappointed too (kinda been there before), but that just happens. When you get home you’ll forget about all of it, just hang in there.
sorry to hear hun… if they have been friends for a long time and they havent made an effort, then it just goes to show you what kind of friends they are…and you they dont deserve to be yuor friends.
if i was in your position i would like some contact from people back home, especially ones you thought cared.
you said it yourself, people are busy. shit i havent called my father in almost a month. i remind myself everyday that i need to call him, but by the time i am done with my day and sit down its 9:30 and i know he’s sleeping, and i am tired and just want to crash out. its not that people do it on purpose, or dont care, its just that life gets in the way.
when you get back, just make them buy beer for the first month or so
It’s expected…
My Friend who was in the navy in Hawii would always have ppl surpised that I spoke with him probably every week or at least every other week on the phone while he was deployed… and it wasn’t just a Hi hwo are things… it was a 1-2 hour converastion.
Any of the ppl who were over there just had no idea that someone woudl still keep in contact for that long…
I would say dont be pissed… because now you know who your buddies are… and your true friends.
I moved to DC in 89 and came back in 2000. I only had 1 “real” friend here in Buffalo. I didn’t talk to him for 11 years. Not one word. I came back in 2000, called him up and we talk every few days since. The point I am making here is the “real” friends will always be friends whether you talk or not. The others are just acquaintances.
I wouldn’t judge a friend by whether or not they call me or write or whatever.
Don’t worry. I’ve been gone from NYC for almost 7 years.
I come back, and a couple good friends and I picked up our friendship right where it was. I actually think I made some more friends because it’s been so long.
Then we drank, and everyone became friends.
I know what you are going through, I know that I will probably be doing the same thing (thinking and doing).
It’s life, and whatever is pertinent and around you is what is going to be your main priority.
my friends do the same to me when im away at school, now i know im not exactly risking my life by being buffalo going to school but it would be nice to get a phone call every now and then from one of my good friends, sucks but you’ll enjoy urself when u get home
Ish like that just shows who your true friends are… don’t get mad… get glad… that you know whos worth it now… and who you can tell to fuck off next time they come around…
unless ofcourse they have a reason… ie… their computer was under 6 ft of water from katrina…
) just cuase I am here, but at the same time I dont think its asking for too much to get a short email maybe once a month from my friends basically saying hey im doin ok, work sucks, school sucks, bla bla.
