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The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
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You can’t drive your car in the rain.
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Your “significant other” is afraid to drive your car.
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You are afraid to drive your car.
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You spend more on tires than on food.
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You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
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You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
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You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
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You have to go to the track to buy gas.
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Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
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Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
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You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
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You’re tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
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Red signal lights shift to green as you’re approaching then shift back to red as you’re receding.
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You arrive somewhere before you left.
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You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if “they can look under the hood.”
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You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
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You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
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You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
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Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
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You need parachute braking.
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‘significant other’ won’t even ride in the car.
24 There is no possible way to “sneak out” of your neighborhood at 6 am.
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Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors…)
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Family photos throughout the house are replaced with ife-sized posters of your car.
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Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
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You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn’t everybody???)
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The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
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You find out that side mirrors don’t hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.