Ouch man. As cliche’ as it sounds, it just wasn’t meant to be. If it was meant to be, she will come back. You need to talk to Zer0dazE to get square with yourself. He will point you in the right direction. Keep this in the rearview and don’t look back because you will only make yourself depressed…
I wish it was 2 years ago, where i had tons of stuff to do… or lots of friends. But, being engaged, you kinda get lost in the relationship. I dont know where to pick up and move on to! Thats the worst part right now
Yeah, dude, I lost one after 3 years myself… She was family, and now shes gone. I have seriously been fucked up since then. Pretty much failed outta UB at this point, and yeah… dont be like me, try to move on and dont dwell on her… I know it sounds horrible, but somehow it might be for the better. Look for the “light in the tunnel”. I am sorry to hear about it though, and I complete;y understand.
I know how ya feel bro… The last long term relationship I was in (3 years) was great, but ended badly. I was crushed/pissed off/confused/ect
you’ll get over it in time. Good thing you found out now and not after you were married, right? Give it a year or so and you’ll be good as new. Just dont settle down again… live your life and enjoy it.
shit, after my breakup I felt as if the world was coming to an end, but now I have alot of fun and DAMN do I enjoy being single :naughty:
I’ve been through it. I’ve been on my knees sobbing, I’ve felt the enormous black pit that grows in Your belly. It’s not a good time.
The good news is that You will come around and realize that it really is the best thing.
If she just Woke up and said it’s over, then there HAD to be something seriously amiss. Consider that if You two had continued Your relationship, then this would’ve been overlooked and suppressed for god knows how long… when it eventually got the best of Your relationship down the road, You would’ve lost much more then 1.5 years.
Also, she may just need time. As shitty and cliche` as that sounds, it can be true. I’ve a tattoo that says “If You Love Something…”. I got it when I was 19, about a year after I broke up with my 4 year GF / High School sweetheart. That was 5 years ago now.
Her and I have been together for 2-3 years now. Engaged for about 2 months. She & I both did alot of growing and changing in that 3 year period of NO contact. We met up by happenstance one night, got caught up, and sure enough, I put a ring on her not long ago.
In the period apart, I had 7-8 different relationships, most of them very healthy and happy. It was a good time. If I had to go through all of it again, as much as losing her destroyed me for months, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Be strong, You’ll come through it alright. If you need some people to be with, check out the Meets & GTG forum, go out and get drunk, I’m sure there are some decent people areound this site to hang out with.
here is my advice, and i will add more as it pops into my head. being a old fuck i have been down said road a couple times.
heres a list of what DOESN’T work:
drinking, at first yes, then it just gets ugly and you will make a fool of yourself.
drugs, although fun and will get you lots of ladies (with the right drugs), it will either kill you or make you stronger. of the 5 of us, i am the only one not in jail and or dead. not great odds.
dwelling on it. its done, dont try to fix it. it didnt work for a reason. you are NOT a fixer upper (women love a fixer upper… look at HG tv), you are not broken.
talking to your friends about it. do you ask your friends “hey, remember when you mom died in that plane crash?”. talking about this is just going to make dwell on it. cowboy up and press on.
getting your ass out of the house is a must. you need to seperate yourself from the issue asap. if you have a lot of free time, you are going to tihnk about it… get busy.
this is the perfect time to get a second job, start your own side business, read (yea, thats a little out there), learn to swing dance, go rock climbing, take up kung fu… whatever, just do something. in 2 months if you get your ass moving you will struggle to remember what color her eyes were. but you NEED to get moving, and thats the toughest part.
im not going to make some wise ass remark.
it sucks, alot… i’ve been there… but ive learned that:
for a while, noone is going to seem as good as her, or as pretty, or as ____. And that is going to be the hardest part. The best advice that i can offer, is that there really is someone who is better, you just don’t know where she is yet and you haven’t been looking, so don’t rifle through people you’ve met in hopes of some easy replacement, she’s not in there.
Hang out with people… even if you don’t know them well. Don’t rely on them so much for support, but as a distraction. The first week is the hardest, and once the shock of today is over, a sickening despair will set it… it’s only natural, but GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. There are plenty of halloween parties this weekend with plenty of new people. Just get out. Don’t dwell. That’s not good for anybody.
And about getting back together with her… I don’t know the situation… it is POSSIBLE… but highly unlikely. On the off chance that it does occur, chances are it won’t last. If you live your life on the hope that she will come back, you arent going to progress emotionally at all.
If you need someone to tag along with, i have plenty of shit going down this weekend.
we ended up working our differences out, but it’s different nowadays. I did the whole hard-up drinking thing, and realized that it wasn’t making anything go away, and there was no end in sight until I said there was. drink if you want to, but remember, it’s not going to make you forget any longer than overnight.
zerodaze is right, you gotta get out of the house and do shit. since she was the one that busted it off, maybe she’ll realize her error. if she does, it’s up to you if you want her back or not. people will say, “fuck her, don’t let her back,” but only you will know if that’s what you want to do.
stay active! run. play paintball. do home/car projcets you’ve been putting off. call up old buddies to go out and grab a brew or two. work out. do chinups until your arms are wicked sore
just keep your mind focused on what you’re doing, let things settle.
